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| "You're my favorite little buddy!" |
By Sharon Rose
Many fathers are concerned that they won't know how to care for their newborn baby, or be gentle enough. Some men may think they should wait until the baby gets older and bigger before they start to handle them. However, fathers should start handling the baby as soon as the baby enters the world. Research shows that men have a hormonal response to becoming a father and nature takes over to guide them. That does not mean that fathers have no need to learn parental skills that will greatly enhance parenting. There is much to learn. What it does mean is, with time and practice, a father will become more confident in taking care of the baby. It will become natural for the father. The more time a father spends holding his baby the more skillful and comfortable at caring for the baby he will become. Every day a father spends involved, showing affection, and bonding with his baby, the stronger the paternal instincts will become.
Bonding time is becoming more and more important as many men take on the role of the primary caregiver, or at least, share an equal role of caring for the baby and children in the family under the age of 15 years old. In the United States, there are various reasons fathers are becoming the primary care giver, including the following: the recent recession and subsequent recovering economy causing many men to be out of work; the rising cost of child care outside of the home; couples making a choice to have at least one parent at home full time with the children; and married fathers who earn less at work than their wives and choose to be the stay-at-home Dad to provide the needed child care, as the best financial situation for their family. There is no longer the double-take when fathers are seen in the supermarket or on the playground with the children in the middle of the day. In many ways, the choice to have the father become the primary care giver for the children under 15 has become a lifestyle. It is the “new normal.”
Statistics support this. According to the most recent U.S. Census Report in 2010, there were 176,000 stay-at-home Dads. When fathers who were freelance/work-from-home, and part-time workers were added, this number rose to 626,000 stay-at-home Dads that were primary caregivers for their children.
Our national laws are changing to help support the changing role of the caregiver for the children in the family. In the United States the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of 1993 has made it mandatory that employers with at least 50 employees allow an employee, of at least 12 months, to take unpaid leave for the family, to include parental leave. A new term, parental leave, includes maternity, paternity, and adoption leave. Studies show a small percentage of fathers are taking advantage of this up to 12 weeks leave. However, most are using sick or vacation leave to help with care of a newborn to offset the loss of pay at a crucial time of financial need for the family. In 2004, the state of California made it mandatory for employers to allow up to 6 weeks paid family leave, including parental leave for same-sex partners. The state of New Jersey followed with the same improvement in the benefit. We can watch for others to follow, as fathers in caregiver roles have become a driving force, to include, voicing a need for pay during the family leave time.
Fathers bonding with their children at an early age, whether as the primary caregiver or as the father sharing hands-on responsibility and involvement, is a good thing. Here are some tips for fathers of infants to get you started as an involved father:
Many fathers are concerned that they won't know how to care for their newborn baby, or be gentle enough. Some men may think they should wait until the baby gets older and bigger before they start to handle them. However, fathers should start handling the baby as soon as the baby enters the world. Research shows that men have a hormonal response to becoming a father and nature takes over to guide them. That does not mean that fathers have no need to learn parental skills that will greatly enhance parenting. There is much to learn. What it does mean is, with time and practice, a father will become more confident in taking care of the baby. It will become natural for the father. The more time a father spends holding his baby the more skillful and comfortable at caring for the baby he will become. Every day a father spends involved, showing affection, and bonding with his baby, the stronger the paternal instincts will become.
Bonding time is becoming more and more important as many men take on the role of the primary caregiver, or at least, share an equal role of caring for the baby and children in the family under the age of 15 years old. In the United States, there are various reasons fathers are becoming the primary care giver, including the following: the recent recession and subsequent recovering economy causing many men to be out of work; the rising cost of child care outside of the home; couples making a choice to have at least one parent at home full time with the children; and married fathers who earn less at work than their wives and choose to be the stay-at-home Dad to provide the needed child care, as the best financial situation for their family. There is no longer the double-take when fathers are seen in the supermarket or on the playground with the children in the middle of the day. In many ways, the choice to have the father become the primary care giver for the children under 15 has become a lifestyle. It is the “new normal.”
Statistics support this. According to the most recent U.S. Census Report in 2010, there were 176,000 stay-at-home Dads. When fathers who were freelance/work-from-home, and part-time workers were added, this number rose to 626,000 stay-at-home Dads that were primary caregivers for their children.
Our national laws are changing to help support the changing role of the caregiver for the children in the family. In the United States the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of 1993 has made it mandatory that employers with at least 50 employees allow an employee, of at least 12 months, to take unpaid leave for the family, to include parental leave. A new term, parental leave, includes maternity, paternity, and adoption leave. Studies show a small percentage of fathers are taking advantage of this up to 12 weeks leave. However, most are using sick or vacation leave to help with care of a newborn to offset the loss of pay at a crucial time of financial need for the family. In 2004, the state of California made it mandatory for employers to allow up to 6 weeks paid family leave, including parental leave for same-sex partners. The state of New Jersey followed with the same improvement in the benefit. We can watch for others to follow, as fathers in caregiver roles have become a driving force, to include, voicing a need for pay during the family leave time.
Fathers bonding with their children at an early age, whether as the primary caregiver or as the father sharing hands-on responsibility and involvement, is a good thing. Here are some tips for fathers of infants to get you started as an involved father:
Tips on Bonding with Baby for Dads:
1. Give Baby a bottle. If Mom is breastfeeding, Dad can give the water bottle. As Baby takes the bottle he also learns to recognize your face.
2. Diaper duty can be shared with Mom, and will be a big help. Some Dads may need instructions and practice on how to change a diaper, but it will soon come easy. We all had to learn!
3. Wear your baby. Use a sling or pouch that fits in the front of you and carry Baby around as you do chores at home, etc. Baby will be comforted by the feeling of being close to you.
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| Daddy and Baby clean the house as a team. |
4. Massage Baby with lotion after a bath or
soothe Baby when fussy.
5. Give Baby a bath. You’ll both enjoy this!
6. Sing a lullaby. Baby won't be critical of the tune you carry and will be soothed by a gentle, lulling voice.
7. Read a good book to Baby. At any age, Baby will like hearing the sound of your voice, even before they can understand the content of the story.
5. Give Baby a bath. You’ll both enjoy this!
6. Sing a lullaby. Baby won't be critical of the tune you carry and will be soothed by a gentle, lulling voice.
7. Read a good book to Baby. At any age, Baby will like hearing the sound of your voice, even before they can understand the content of the story.
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| "What are we reading today, Daddy?" |
8. Take a walk with Baby in the stroller, when
weather permits. Talk to your baby as you walk along and enjoy the exercise for
yourself.
9. Make Daddy
play-time a part of Baby’s daily schedule.
Keep it at about the same time each day, such as, when you first arrive
home from work. Make funny faces and
watch Baby giggle, play peek-a-boo, act-out traditional children’s rhymes, such
as Pat-A-Cake and Itsy-Bitsy Spider. Baby will love this!
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| Baby loves Daddy Play-time! |
10. Be a part of Baby’s health care needs. Go to well-baby appointments. Take a sick day (full or half) and stay home
to take care of Baby when he is sick.
The
changing roles of the caregiver for the children under age 15 in the family
have caused many fathers to find their nurturing side and mothers to take on
more of a disciplinarian, authoritative role. Parents supporting one another is
needed and necessary. However, we must remember how important keeping the
balance of the mother-father role is within the family.
Research Source: http://money.cnn.com/2012/04/30/pf/stay-at-home-dad/index.htm
www.parentswanttoknow101.blogspot.com/bondingtimeforbabyanddad
Educational Resources for Dads: www.fatherhood.gov
www.fatherhood.org; www.parentswanttoknow101.blogspot.com.
Copyright, Parents Want to Know 101, Sharon Rose, The Father’s Role in the Contemporary Family: The Changing Role of Caregiver for Children, June 11, 2013; edited version, July 29, 2014. All rights reserved.
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