Parents Want to Know 101

Welcome to Parents Want to Know 101. Parents Want to Know 101 was created for parents and those interested in parenting issues and trends, from birth to college, and beyond. It provides exposure to important and current information, relevant to raising a healthy, happy, independent, successful child. What should we, as adults, contribute to our families, the community, and our country to make this happen? The children are our future. Parents need one another; it does take a village.

Friday, November 20, 2015

Ten Ways to Strenghthen Father - Son Relationships

By Sharon Rose

It is not always recognized how influential the father and son relationship is when it comes to the positive growth and development of a boy. A father's influence on a son's personal development may not be seen, but it is real. We want our fathers to know that their role in the family cannot genuinely be duplicated. An example of unseen influence that fathers have is the close attention a boy pays to the way in which his father interacts with his mother. A boy learns about respect and disrespect in relationships from the model the mother and father present. Boys learn how men and women interact, and how men should deal with conflict and differences by observing the interaction of their mother and father. When there is no parental model, boys may look to other models that are sometimes negative. It may prove difficult for a boy to make the best life choices without his father in his life. It is important for a father to be present in their son's life, whether they live in the home or outside of the home. Boys need their father's presence to feel protected, as they grow up, and as a positive role model. Here are 10 tips to help strengthen the father - son relationship.

10 Tips to Strengthen the Father - Son Relationship:

1. Recognize that sons are influenced by their fathers. We don't see it happening, we can't touch it, but this influence is real. Our sons learn about being a man primarily by watching their fathers.

2. Do activities together that you both have an interest in. The more time you spend together the more your bond will grow. Talk about this and decide on a few activities that you both enjoy. This may lead to camping, fishing trips, and rock climbing, which are favorites to many fathers and sons as a one-on-one activity.

3. Rough-housing between father and son is a, one-of-a-kind, bonding experience. Boys love to wrestle with their fathers. This rough-housing, done in a safe environment, prepares boys for the rough activities boys tend to participate in such as, football and hockey, etc.

4. Get involved in traditional father-son activities. Coach your son's little league baseball team or volunteer as scoutmaster for your son's Boy Scout troupe. There are so many father-son bonding experiences that are character building, as well as fun.

5. Take on a big project. Do a hands on project that will be visible in your lives, to show-off a bit, for years to come. Try these ideas: build model cars or airplanes; a bookcase or chair; restore an old car; or build a porch deck or patio for the whole family to enjoy.

6. Listen to your son. Build effective communication between the two of you by listening when your son needs that special person to talk to. Listen for questions your son my have, and there will be many. Give age appropriate answers.

7. Don't be afraid of the big talk. The day will come when you will need to teach your son about relationships and sex. You may not be comfortable with talking to your son about sex, but you don't want your son to get false information from peers. If needed, look for good reading resources for father and son. You want to instill your values in your son that he can carry with him throughout life.

8. Focus on the positive. Look for opportunities to praise your son for doing something right. Don't overdo it, but your words can help build a positive self-esteem. Be there to guide him through everyday experiences, like: positive TV shows, movies, media games, help with homework, and in this day and time, social media experiences. Encourage your son to value the positive over the negative.

9. Make one on one time. Get out on the basketball court and shoot hoops together. Teach him about other sports the two of you can share, like golf, tennis, fishing, or bowling. Become sponsor of a school extra-curricular activity that your son is involved in. Do yard work together, using this as a teaching, learning, and bonding experience.

10. Focus on the spiritual. It's an important role for a father to help a son understand faith in something higher than oneself as a way of understanding the deeper meaning of life.

Father and son, together!

Reading Resources for help with difficult father - son relationships: http://www.healthyplace.com/parenting/dads/connection-between-father-and-son/

Copyright, Parents Want to Know 101, Sharon Rose, Ten Ways to Strengthen Father - Son Relationships, November 18, 2015. All rights reserved.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Common Core Math Not Popular with Parents

By Sharon Rose

As schools around the United States are implementing state and national Common Core Math learning and performance standards, parent complaints grow louder. Many feel their children have been set up to fail by the introduction of a complicated math process. The simplest forms of math, addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division have been turned into a nightmare for some parents. An emphasis is placed on working with a partner or a group to arrive at math answers. Children who fail the Common Core Performance tests are at risk of repeating a grade and/or being placed in special programs.

Some parents have expressed that math, such as adding, subtracting, multiplying and dividing has been made, unnecessarily, complicated. Parents are being introduced to unfamiliar math terms, such as, "array," "regrouping," and "area model." Common Core Math is new and parents, unfamiliar with it, are left at a lost to help with homework of grades as early as first, second, third grade. They have been given no training, by school systems, for this new math and have been left on their own to figure it out. Stacey Jacobson-Francis, 41, of Berkeley, California, interviewed by NBC Washington News affiliate, said her first grade daughter's homework requires her to know four different ways to add. "That is way too much to ask of a first grader,'' she said. "She can't remember them all, and I don't know them all, so we just do the best that we can.''

What are Common Core Standards? Common Core is a set of math and English standards that spell out what students should know and when. *(Although we don't often hear complaints about it, Common Core Standards also includes Language Arts/Reading.) The standards for elementary math emphasizes that kids should not only be able to solve math problems using the traditional methods, taught when their parents were in school, but understand how numbers relate to each other. Common Core has been adopted by 44 states, including Maryland and Washington, D.C.

As a critic of Common Core Math, who would like to see it go away, I have observed that it fails to emphasize basic computation skills, leaving students unprepared for higher math. I say, traditional math still has an important role in building that strong foundation in math that children need. Educating our children should be about positive learning experiences that give them confidence and the tools to be independent and succeed in life, not throw curve balls to strike them out.

*More resources on Common Core Standards:

*The History of the Common Core Standards: http://www.usnews.com/news/special-reports/articles/2014/02/27/the-history-of-common-core-state-standards

*Sources: http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/22What-Parents-Rail-Against-Common-Core-Math-259363861.html

www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2014/10/23/the-science-of-the-common-core-experts-weigh-in-on-its-developmental-appropriateness/

Saturday, June 20, 2015

The Father's Role In the Contemporary Family: How Children Benefit From An Involved Father

By Sharon Rose

The role of fathers in the modern American family is changing in important and countervailing ways. Fathers who live with their children have become more intensely involved in their lives, spending more time with them and taking part in a greater variety of activities, and their children are benefiting. However, the share of fathers who are residing with their children has fallen significantly in the past half century.

In 1960, only 11% of children in the U.S. lived apart from their fathers. By 2010, that share had risen to 27%. In contrast, the share of minor children living apart from their mothers increased only modestly, from 4% in 1960 to 8% in 2010. According to a new Pew Research Center analysis of the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG), more than one-in-four fathers with children 18 or younger now live apart from their children, with 11% living apart from some of their children and 16% living apart from all of their children.

Despite the dream of the two parent home with a resident father, this is not always the reality in many homes across the United States. Although it is not the reality, we believe the involved father plays a very important role in the family and advocate a "father presence," whether he is living in the home or outside of the home his children are living in. Fathers should be acknowledged and respected, not as “the second adult,” but as a parent whose involvement will greatly benefit the child.

One of the most important benefits of the involved father to the child is the behavior that is modeled when the child can observe a positive relationship between mother and father. Children learn so much more from parents as role models than they do from what the parents are saying on a daily basis. They are truly little “Mini-Me-s." When a boy sees his father showing respect to his mother, he learns from this modeling, how to treat women and a girl is gaining self-esteem and an expectation of how she should be treated by men. This “learning” will carry over into their adolescence and adulthood. They also benefit from observing how mother and father address conflicts within the mother-father relationship. Watching mother and father address conflicts in an adult and appropriate way teaches the same lesson, indirectly. Boys who understand that aggression and violence is not the way to solve conflict with women is less likely to grow up and act in an aggressive manner toward women. Girls who have involved fathers who solve conflict appropriately with their mothers see how they should expect men to treat them if conflicts arise. They are less likely to become involved in violent or unhealthy relationships when they become teenagers and adults. This will not be their comfort zone, nor will they have been given a message, when they were growing up that aggression should be expected. In contrast, research shows that fathers who display contempt, anger, violence, or give “the silent treatment” to the mother of their children are more likely to have children who are anxious, or anti-social. Tony Dungy, former NFL player and coach, talks about the father as a role model in his acclaimed book, “Uncommon.” He speaks to fathers, “Be the role model that God created you to be for others. Be the message the He intended for you to be, to all the world.” Certainly, words for all fathers to take to heart.

Through the many studies done on the role of the father in the family, we have learned that children with involved, affectionate fathers have better educational outcomes. I stress that affection is needed from the father for both sons and daughters. Also, the influence of a father’s involvement on academic achievement extends into adolescence and young adulthood. U.S. Department of Education did a study that found highly involved biological fathers had children who were 43 % more likely than other children to earn A’s, and 33% were less likely to repeat a grade.

Children also benefit emotionally and psychologically from the presence of an involved father. From birth, children of involved fathers are more likely to be emotionally secure, confident to explore their environment, and create more healthy social relationships with peers, as they grow into adolescence and young adulthood. They are also, less likely to get into trouble at home, school, or in the community. Babies who get a lot of affection and playful interaction from their father feel more secure. A father’s playfulness with his children is more stimulating than the playful activity of the mother. Rough housing with Dad can teach children how to react to aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions. Fathers, more so, encourage independence and a lack of fear of the world outside the home. Fathers encourage achievement and competition, while mothers are more likely to stress nurturing, both of which are important. The balance between the two is needed. Yet another study of school-aged children found that children with involved fathers are less likely to experience depression, drug abuse, or display disruptive or delinquent behavior. Fathers hold an important role in benefiting a child’s growth, development, and future that cannot, likely, be filled by anyone else. We are not saying that there are no children without a father present who do not succeed; there are. However, they can give testament to the rough road they and their mothers traveled to get there.

The “resident” father in all homes does not fit the mold of the contemporary family, but the “involved” father can strengthen the modern day family and its future for the children.

Research Sources:
http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/06/15/a-tale-of-two-fathers/
www.fatherhood.gov
Yeung, W. J., Duncan, G. J., & Hill, M. S. (2000). Putting fathers back in the picture: Parental activities and children's adult outcomes.
H. E. Peters, G. W. Peterson, S. K. Steinmetz, & R. D. Day (Eds.), Fatherhood: Research, interventions and policies (pp. 97-113). New York, NY: Hayworth Press; Harris, K. M., & Marmer, J. K. (1996).
Dungy, Tony, Uncommon: Finding Your Path to Significance, Tynsdale House Publishers, (Feb., 2009).

FYI our fan page: www.facebook.com/parentswanttoknow101
Our blog: www.parentswanttoknow101.blogspot.com

Copyright, Parents Want to Know 101, Sharon Rose, Update - The Father’s Role in the Contemporary Family: How Children Benefit From An Involved Father, June 19, 2015. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

OUR BIG LIST, from Parents Want to Know 101, for KIDS FREE or CHEAP MEALS

By Sharon Rose

School is out, hot weather comes with summer, and we all want to get out of the house to eat. Hope our BIG LIST of KIDS EAT FREE or CHEAP helps to get our families started and save the budget.

Most FREE kids meals are to be ordered from the kids’ menu. Promotions may vary so, please, call ahead of visiting your restaurant of choice. Bon Appétit!

1. Applebees - Kids eat FREE on Mondays. One FREE kid’s meal for each adult entrée. Additional kids are $1.00.

2. iHop - Kids, 12 & under, eat FREE, 4:00 P.M. – 8:00 P.M. every day. One kid’s meal per one adult entrée purchase.
3. CiCi’s Pizza - Kids 3 & under eat FREE from the buffet every day. Some locations have certain days for older kids to eat FREE.

4. O’Charley’s - Kids eat FREE Monday – Friday at select locations. Call for information.

5. Golden Corral - Kids 10 & under eat FREE from 5:00 P.M. – 9:00 P.M. on Mondays. Limited to 2 kids per adult buffet purchase. Kids 3 & under eat FREE every day.

6. Chic-Fil-A - Kids eat FREE on Tuesdays for Family Fun Night from 5:30 P.M. – 7:30 P.M. Limit of one FREE kid per adult combo purchase.

7. Fuddrucker’s - Kids 12 & under eat for $.99 from 4:00 P.M. on Monday (and Tuesday). A drink is included. Not all locations may offer this promotion, so call ahead.

8. Moe’s Southwest Grill - Kids eat FREE on Mondays with adult entrée purchase.

9. McDonald’s - FREE Happy Meal on Kid’s birthday ( Please inquire, as offer only good in certain states.) Promotional FREE coupons can be found in local newspapers and at websites, such as: www.moneysavingmom.com and www.couponcraving.com.

10. Captain D’s - Kids FREE on Tuesday and Thursday. Limited to 2 FREE kid’s meals for each adult entrée ordered.

11. Marie Callender’s - Kids eat FREE on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Limited to one FREE kid’s meal to each adult entrée purchased.

12. Backyard Burger - Kids eat FREE on Tuesdays (and Thursday) from 4:00 P.M. – until closing. One FREE kid’s meal for each adult combo purchased.

13. Pizza Hut - Kids, 3 and under, eat FREE every day at lunch buffet. At some locations, 3 & under, eat FREE at dinner buffet, as well.

14. Piccadilly - Kids, 6 & under, eat FREE on Monday – Saturday.

15. Rainforest Café - Kids eat for $1.99 on Wednesday evenings. Call for time.

16. Planet SUB - Kids FREE on Tuesday and Sunday. One kid FREE for each adult entrée purchased. (MO, KS, IA, OK, NE)

17. Millie’s Restaurant and Bakery - Kids eat for $.99, each week day, with the purchase of adult entrée. Call for details. (CA)

18. Chartroose Caboose - Kids, 10 & under, eat FREE on Monday evenings from 5 P.M. to closing, and all day on Sunday. (KS)

19. Cody’s Original Roadhouse - Kids, 10 & under, eat FREE on Mondays and Tuesdays. Limited to 2 kids per each adult entrée purchase. (FL, ME, NC)

20. Flying Biscuit Café - Kids, 12 & under, eat FREE Monday - Thursday from 4:00 P.M. – 7:00 P.M. with purchase of an adult entrée of $6.95 or more. (Candler Park and Midtown Atlanta, GA) www.flyingbiscuit.com

21. Hudson Grille - Kids, 12 & under, eat FREE all hours, every day of the week, with adult entrée purchase. (Alpharetta, GA) www.hudsongrille.com

22. Mariachi Grill - One kids meal, for 12 and under, FREE from 5 P.M. - 9:30 P.M., on Thursdays, with each purchase of one adult combo. 612 Montgomery Hwy., Birmingham, AL; (205)823-2399.

23. Steak 'n' Shake - One kids meal FREE, Saturday and Sunday,with each $8.00 order. Call for more details.

24. Frasca Pizzeria - Two kids FREE, everyday after 4:30 P.M., with each adult meal purchased. Call for more details. 3358 Paulina St., Chicago, IL 60657; (773)248-5222.

25. Sweet Bones - One Kid per adult with mention of "Kids Eat For," at $2.99, Monday through Saturday. Call (205)970-3022 for seating.

26. Austin Grill - Kids eat FREE on Tuesdays at Austin Grill. Dine-in only with purchase of adult entree. Only valid at participating locations.
27. Lonestar Steakhouse - Kids, 12 and under, can eat FREE all day on Tuesdays. Limited to 2 children per adult entree purchased. Dine-in only.
28. Islands' Restaurant - Kids eat FREE on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (AZ, CA, CO, HI, NV).

29. Firehouse Subs - Kids, 12 and unique, eat FREE from 4:00 P.M. to 9:00 P.M., on Wednesdays and Sundays. Kids get FREE Fireman hat.

30. Tony Roma's - Kids, 12 and under, can eat FREE on Tuesdays.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

12 Most Likely Reasons Baby Is Crying

by Sharon Rose

Let's talk about why babies cry. Babies do not cry because they are spoiled. Babies cry because they don't have language yet. Parents can work their way through our checklist of 12 most likely reasons why Baby is crying. Getting to know your Baby is important because he, likely, has a different sound for each reason he may be crying. *See our "source" for more details.

12 Most Likely Reasons Babies Cry:

1. Hunger

2. A soiled diaper

3. In need of sleep

4. Wants to be held

5. Tummy troubles (gas, colic, and more)

6. Needs to burp

7. Too cold or too hot

8. Something small

9. Teething

10. Wants less stimulation

11. Wants more stimulation

12. Not feeling well

If your baby is still crying after you have gone through the checklist, check for too tight clothing discomfort, or possible constipation. Use your judgment to consider if it is now time to let the pediatrician weigh in.

Source:http://www.babycenter.com/0_12-reasons-babies-cry-and-how-to-soothe-them_9790.bc#articlesection1

Thursday, February 26, 2015

The Children's March

Movie poster for The Mighty Times: The Children's March.

By Sharon Rose

"The Academy Award for best short-form documentary goes to, Mighty Times: The Children’s March," so said the celebrity announcer at the 2005 Academy Awards, in Los Angeles, CA. Producer, Robert Hudson and director, Bobby Houston rose to their feet and ascended to the elaborate stage to accept the gold Oscar statue. They had so, expertly, re-told on film, released in 2004, the story of the youngest heroes of the 1963, Civil Rights Movement in Birmingham, AL, that they were being awarded the highest award in Hollywood that a filmmaker could receive. It was the story of an event that lasted almost ten days and is now historically know as, The Children’s March.

One day in May, 1963, The Children's March.

To commemorate Black History Month, I want to spotlight the unlikely heroes of the Civil Rights Movement in Birmingham, Alabama, the children. In May, 1963, the children of Birmingham emerged as heroes. Many may wonder how children could have done something no other had been able to do. It was their sheer large numbers, courage, and practice of non-violence, taught by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. It was a relentless determination to claim their dream of freedom, that made the difference. Some of the adults, who participated in the marches, picketing the front of downtown department stores to enforce a boycott of the businesses, lost their jobs and were harassed by white employers. When Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., the leader of the movement, called for more and more demonstrations, many adults voiced the reality they faced, the threat of losing their jobs. The children begged their parents to be allowed to take their futures in their own hands, and so they marched, despite the fears of many parents. They boycotted their poorly equipped, segregated schools, took picket signs in hand, and marched in the streets during the sweltering heat of that, long ago, month of May.

The children, some as young as 7 and 8 years old, gathered for almost ten days at 16th Street Baptist Church to organize with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and other civil rights leaders. They marched from the church, through Kelly Ingram Park, a city park across the street from the church. The park became the focal point of the marches, destined to become a historical site. The children marched through the streets of downtown Birmingham, lifting their voices to sing songs, such as, Ain't Gonna' Let Nobody Turn Me 'Round. Their processions were always stopped by the Birmingham police, led by the, ever-present, Birmingham Commissioner of Public Safety, infamously, known as "Bull" Conner. The film, The Children's March, has documented the harsh treatment that ensued. With heroic courage, the children faced fire hoses and police dogs, day after day. As many as 8,000 children were arrested and jailed, transported by school buses, before the freedom crusade was over. In the end, with the world wide attention and damaging effects to the economic landscape of Birmingham, AL, they broke the back of segregation in Birmingham and greatly influenced its end throughout the entire South, and the passing of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Today, Kelly Ingram Park offers a self-guided, audio walking tour that retraces, The Children's March. The Birmingham Civil Rights Institute, which opened in November, 1992, faces the park and includes The Children's March, among the many civil rights historical stories and events, re-told through film, first-person audio testimonials, authentic artifacts, exhibits, photography, and art.

Birmingham Civil Rights Institute

Kelly Ingram Park, self-guided walking tour.

Kelly Ingram Park, Birmingham, AL

16th Street Baptist Church, Birmingham, AL

Do you know of other examples in history where children have shown this kind of courage and heroism? Talk to your children about this event in American History; compare it to other similar events. Have them to understand that their future lies in their hands, although it may not be such a tremendous task that history dealt to the children of The Children’s March. Their duties are to do their best in school, do their chores, or work a part-time job, but it is up to them to succeed at it, with your support.

The following poem is dedicated to the children of, The Children’s March.

Sing Out for Freedom

By Sharon Rose

Lift your voice with a mighty praise,

To our Lord who lives on high.

Pray with voice and words of grace,

Sing out for freedom!

Sing and chant as your body sways,

Clap your hands; reach for courage.

Born with a hunger to be free,

Sing out for freedom!

Lift your feet to a marching beat,

No fears for a child of God.

All the way to the Birmingham jail,

Sing out for freedom!

Video Selection: Mighty Times: The Children’s March, 2004, https://www.tolerance.org/classroom-resources/film-kits/mighty-times-the-childrens-march

Teacher's and Parent's Guide:

http://www.tolerance.org/sites/default/files/kits/Childrens_March_Teachers_Guide_web_0.pdf

Copyright, Sing Out for Freedom, poem, Author, Sharon Rose, August 2011. All rights reserved. Cannot be published without permission of the author, under penalty of law. Cannot be used in theatrical or any spoken word stage production without permission and credit to the author, under penalty of law. Contact: srgjones@gmail.com.

Friday, February 20, 2015

Cold-Blooded Killer: Hypothermia

By Sharon Rose

Are you dressed, properly, for the winter weather? Pay attention to
how your body feels when shoveling snow.

Winter, 2015, is turning into a brutally cold season in many areas. Parents need to know about the COLD-BLOODED KILLER: HYPOTHERMIA. Some may have never heard of hypothermia, much less know how to get a handle on it. Here are the bone-chilling facts about this cold-blooded killer.

What is Hypothermia?

A body temperature below 96 degrees Fahrenheit is called hypothermia, and it doesn't take arctic temperatures to put you at risk. Even a moderately chilly air temperature of 60 degrees is low enough to trigger hypothermia if you aren't properly clothed.

The National Institute of Aging estimates that of the 28,000 people hypothermia kills every year, the largest percentage are older people. Some medicines, problems with circulation, and certain illnesses appear to reduce the older person's ability to resist hypothermia. Also, the older you get, the less sensitive you are to cold weather. So, your body temperature could drop to a dangerously low level without you really being aware of it. In addition, older people don't seem to shiver very effectively, which is one of the ways the body warms itself up. However, there is no doubt that hypothermia is a danger regardless of a person's age; and, yes, even children.

A warm drink will lift your spirits!

*Remember these tips to help prevent hypothermia:

1. Dress in layers

2. Always wrap up well when going outside in the cold.

3. Set your thermostat to at least a toasty 70 degrees during cold weather.

4. Avoid extensive exposure to breezes and drafts.

5. Keep plenty of nutritious food and warm clothes and blankets on hand to help ward off the winter chill.

6. It would be wise to wear a warm hat during cold, winter months.

7. Eat hot foods and drink warm drinks several times during the day.

8. Ask a family member or neighbor to check on you often.

9. Ask your doctor if any medicine you're taking increases your risk of hypothermia. Some drugs make it difficult for your body to stay warm. *Drugs that may cause a problem include barbiturates, benzodiazepines, chlorpromazine, reserpine, and tricyclic antidepressants.

10. When shoveling snow, dress warm and in layers, take frequent breaks, and pay attention to how your body feels. Do not eat a heavy meal nor alcohol before or after shoveling snow. The elderly or those with health disparities should avoid shoveling snow all together.

How to Help Someone Suffering From Hypothermia:

To help someone you suspect may be suffering from hypothermia, first call an ambulance. Then lie close to the person and cover both of you with thick blankets. The hotter you get, the more warmth you can give the other person. Don't rub the person or handle him or her roughly. That can make things worse.

How to Help Yourself If You Suspect Hypothermia:

If your temperature is 96 degrees or less, or you feel sluggish or recognize that you're having trouble thinking clearly, call an ambulance and go to the nearest emergency room. It's better to be overly cautious than to die of a disorder that doesn't have to be deadly.

Practice protecting yourself and your family from extreme cold winter temperatures!