It is not always recognized how influential the father and son relationship is when it comes to the positive growth and development of a boy. A father's influence on a son's personal development may not be seen, but it is real. We want our fathers to know that their role in the family cannot genuinely be duplicated. An example of unseen influence that fathers have is the close attention a boy pays to the way in which his father interacts with his mother. A boy learns about respect and disrespect in relationships from the model the mother and father present. Boys learn how men and women interact, and how men should deal with conflict and differences by observing the interaction of their mother and father. When there is no parental model, boys may look to other models that are sometimes negative. It may prove difficult for a boy to make the best life choices without his father in his life. It is important for a father to be present in their son's life, whether they live in the home or outside of the home. Boys need their father's presence to feel protected, as they grow up, and as a positive role model. Here are 10 tips to help strengthen the father - son relationship.
10 Tips to Strengthen the Father - Son Relationship:
1. Recognize that sons are influenced by their fathers. We don't see it happening, we can't touch it, but this influence is real. Our sons learn about being a man primarily by watching their fathers.
2. Do activities together that you both have an interest in. The more time you spend together the more your bond will grow. Talk about this and decide on a few activities that you both enjoy. This may lead to camping, fishing trips, and rock climbing, which are favorites to many fathers and sons as a one-on-one activity.
3. Rough-housing between father and son is a, one-of-a-kind, bonding experience. Boys love to wrestle with their fathers. This rough-housing, done in a safe environment, prepares boys for the rough activities boys tend to participate in such as, football and hockey, etc.
4. Get involved in traditional father-son activities. Coach your son's little league baseball team or volunteer as scoutmaster for your son's Boy Scout troupe. There are so many father-son bonding experiences that are character building, as well as fun.
5. Take on a big project. Do a hands on project that will be visible in your lives, to show-off a bit, for years to come. Try these ideas: build model cars or airplanes; a bookcase or chair; restore an old car; or build a porch deck or patio for the whole family to enjoy.
6. Listen to your son. Build effective communication between the two of you by listening when your son needs that special person to talk to. Listen for questions your son my have, and there will be many. Give age appropriate answers.
7. Don't be afraid of the big talk. The day will come when you will need to teach your son about relationships and sex. You may not be comfortable with talking to your son about sex, but you don't want your son to get false information from peers. If needed, look for good reading resources for father and son. You want to instill your values in your son that he can carry with him throughout life.
8. Focus on the positive. Look for opportunities to praise your son for doing something right. Don't overdo it, but your words can help build a positive self-esteem. Be there to guide him through everyday experiences, like: positive TV shows, movies, media games, help with homework, and in this day and time, social media experiences. Encourage your son to value the positive over the negative.
9. Make one on one time. Get out on the basketball court and shoot hoops together. Teach him about other sports the two of you can share, like golf, tennis, fishing, or bowling. Become sponsor of a school extra-curricular activity that your son is involved in. Do yard work together, using this as a teaching, learning, and bonding experience.
10. Focus on the spiritual. It's an important role for a father to help a son understand faith in something higher than oneself as a way of understanding the deeper meaning of life.
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| Father and son, together! |
Reading Resources for help with difficult father - son relationships: http://www.healthyplace.com/parenting/dads/connection-between-father-and-son/
Copyright, Parents Want to Know 101, Sharon Rose, Ten Ways to Strengthen Father - Son Relationships, November 18, 2015. All rights reserved.
