When a Loved One is Missing

    By Sharon Rose  

Ajah Blackledge - FOUND and reunited with family.

      

      Found!  Each day that we awake and start our day, we seek happiness and a reason to smile. Yesterday, that happened for me when good news arrived, that missing person, 18 year-old Ajah Blackledge of Hoover, AL, missing for 4 weeks, had been found alive and well, in South Florida.  Ajah’s uncle and aunt, Kenny and Dionne Blackledge of Atlanta, GA, are close family friends, so I followed this case closely with the hope that Ajah would be found, unharmed.  Ajah had been missing since January 29, 2018, and from that moment on her family had been experiencing terrifying feelings of helplessness and fear.  It is heartbreaking for parents and family when a child and loved one is missing and there's a fear they are in harm’s way.  Through this dark time, the Blackledge family, diligently, worked with law officials, made use of print and network media, social media, flyers, supported one another, and appealed to the wider community to share Ajah’s picture.  They worked hard to bring her home.  They received an outpouring of help, support, and sharing of information about Ajah's missing person case.  Yesterday, their shared dream for the last 4 weeks, came true.  The light emerged!  They join a small percentage of families that find their missing loved one, who was missing for this long.  Now, for the Blackledge family,  grieving for the loss of their missing loved one must transition in to a healing period.

      At any given time, there are 100,000 active missing persons cases in the United States. Of the 692,944 people reported missing in 2010, 531,928 were under the age of 18. According to the FBI’s National Crime Information Center (NCIC), 355,243 women were reported missing in 2010 compared to 337,660 men. The FBI reports that in 2016 there were 465,676 NCIC entries for missing children. Similarly, in 2015, the total number of missing children entries into NCIC was 460,699. Ajah Blackledge fits in the category of the 2% critically missing young adults, ages 18 to 20.

Ajah Blackledge, has been FOUND.  Her family worked with the police department, created
press releases for social media, such as a Facebook page with updates; news media
 interviews and; flyers; etc., to get the word out that their loved one was missing.  *See our
 resource list to find out what to do if you have a loved one who is missing.

      
      Now that Ajah, a student at Lawson State Community College, has been found, the family can be reunited and start the process of healing.  Previously missing persons, and their families who have experienced this kind of disruption in the family dynamic, should reach out to general physicians, mental health care providers, and if they desire, spiritual leaders, to start the road forward, to a better and brighter day.  I send best wishes to Ajah and the Blackledge family as they travel the road, forward. 

*More on the Ajah Blackledge Story: 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/articles.al.com/news/birmingham/index.ssf/2018/02/missing_hoover_teen_ajah_black.amp

*Resources for Families of Missing Persons -  What You Should Do:

https://www.trustify.info/blog/how-to-find-a-missing-person

https://www.nami.org/Find-Support/Family-Members-and-Caregivers/Finding-a-Missing-Loved-One

https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.wikihow.com/Find-a-Missing-Person%3famp=1

*Resources for Families of Missing Persons to Promote Healing:
http://inspireadifference.com/missing-person-resources/
http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-469244

Copyright, When a Loved One is Missing, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, February 28, 2018.  All rights reserved.  

How to Ease Painful Gums In Teething Babies

 By Sharon Rose

      Teething can be a very painful experience for babies.  Parents feel miserable and helpless watching their baby go through this inevitable milestone of growth and development.  Here are some solutions that can help baby and you feel better.

1. Rub your baby's gums. Use a clean finger, moistened gauze pad or damp washcloth to massage your baby's gums. The pressure can ease your baby's discomfort.

2. Offer a teething ring. Try one made of firm rubber. The liquid-filled variety might break under the pressure of your baby's chewing.  Don't risk it. If a bottle seems to do the trick, fill it with cool water.  Prolonged contact with sugar from formula, milk or juice contributes to tooth decay.

3. Keep all things cool. A washcloth, teething ring or spoon, chilled in the refrigerator, can be soothing on a baby's gums. Don't give your baby a frozen teething ring, however. Contact with frozen things can be harmful and damaging to gums.

4. Try hard foods.  If your baby is eating solid foods, you might offer something edible for gnawing, such as a peeled and chilled cucumber or carrot.  Keep a close eye on your baby, however.  Any pieces that break off might pose a choking hazard.

5. Dry the drool.  Excessive drooling is part of the teething process.  To prevent skin irritation, keep a clean cloth handy to dry your baby's chin.

6. Try an over-the-counter remedy.  If your baby is especially cranky, acetaminophen (Tylenol, others) or ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin, others) might help.  Avoid teething medications that contain the pain reliever benzocaine.  Benzocaine products have been associated with methemoglobinemia, a rare but serious condition that reduces the amount of oxygen in the blood.

With these helpful tips, let's hope baby will be comforted and everyone can get a good night's sleep.  Best wishes!





Copyright, How to Ease Painful Gums in Teething Babies, Sharon Rose, February 22, 2018.  All rights reserved.

Keeping Your Relationship Alive

by Sharon Rose

      Parents, keep your relationship alive and fresh!  To maintain and grow your love in a relationship, each partner must actively express love. Speak up!  Don't be shy!  Love is a strong emotional feeling that grows and needs care and attention to thrive.  If not, the bond you share will, likely, begin to fade. The old adage that love is like a garden is true. You must give it care and attention for it to grow.

      The primary benefit of the relationship is to receive and give love, affection, and to support each other as you seek to achieve your goals in life, especially those which benefit the family as a whole. If you want a long-lasting, successful relationship make a commitment to your partner’s emotional well-being, even when you feel it’s not easy. This means being affectionate towards your partner through the good and the bad, when it’s most needed, and when it is least expected. This is what will make your relationship strong and lasting.

      Keep the romance alive in your relationship. Romance in the relationship will create so many special memories that will strengthen your bond for years to come. Both partners, from time to time, should plan something romantic, if no more than, a candle-lit dinner at home. However, it would be so special to get creative, like a trip to the spa for a couple’s massage, a moonlight picnic with a favorite wine, a dip in a sauna; and I’m sure you can think of more.  Also, a simple kiss and a hug at the door to say good-bye for the day, and a kiss and hug to welcome one another home again, can be a romantic ritual that each partner looks forward to.  Enjoy one another other!  Enjoy love!

                                        




Copyright, Keeping Your Relationship Alive, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, February 14, 2018.  All rights reserved.

How to Talk About Bullying with Your Child

By Sharon Rose 

      Parents, teachers and other caring adults have a role to play in preventing bullying.  If your child is being bullied at school, always contact the school and work with them to stop the bullying.  Here are 5 tips to better understand how you can help your kids to understand bullying and how to protect themselves: 

1.Talk about what bullying is and how to stand up to it safely. Give tips, like using humor and saying stop directly and confidently. Let them try it out with you by role playing. Tell kids bullying is unacceptable. Make sure kids know how to get help. Encourage them to speak to an adult they trust if they are being bullied or see others being bullied.
2. Keep the lines of communication open. Check in with kids often. Listen to them. Research shows that kids really do look to parents and caregivers for advice and help on tough decisions. Sometimes spending 15 minutes a day talking can reassure kids that they can talk to their parents if they have a problem. Know their friends, ask about school, and understand their concerns.

3. Encourage kids to do what they love. Special activities, interests, and hobbies can boost confidence, help kids make friends, and protect them from bullying behavior.


4. Parents should stay involved with their kid's school. Keep parent/teacher conferences. Volunteer in the classroom at party-time, field trips, etc.

5. Model how to treat others with kindness and respect. Your kid is a mini-me.

Copyright, How to Talk About Bullying with Your Child, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, November 10, 2017.  All rights reserve.

Happy Grandparent's Day!

It's a special day, it's National Grandparent's Day!

      It's National Grandparent's Day, Sunday, September 10, 2017!  Hug your grandparents today!  On August 3, 1978, then President, Jimmy Carter, declared that the first Sunday after Labor Day would be observed, annually, as National Grandparents Day.  Our grandparents hold the memories of our heritage, share the wisdom of their life experience, are generous in our time of need, and are often our child care providers.  They're pretty awesome!  There are many ways to connect with our grandparents every day of the year.  Grandparents love to have fun!  Remember them and celebrate grandparents on their special day!  Grandparents are great role models and there for us when we need them. Their wisdom of life's journey and knowledge of the past helps guide us to a brighter future! Let's show our gratitude to them everyday, and especially on this special day! 

Grandparents like to get exercise.  It's fun to join in.

Grandparents like to take selfies too!

Copyright: Happy Grandparent's Day! Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, September 10, 2017.  All rights reserved.

Getting to Know Tweens

By Sharon Rose

      The word tween has become very popular in recent years. Prior to this, kids in this transitional age group, most often, were called pre-teens, middle-schoolers, or tweenies.  A tween is a child between the ages of 9 and 12 years-old.  A tween is no longer a little child, but not yet a teenager. They are in-between the two age groups.  Parents and others around them recognize in their behavior and emotions that a change is taking place.  But, a tween is also maturing physically, emotionally, and socially and they are learning to take on new responsibilities at school and at home. They are growing into a teenager. The tween years can be a challenging adjustment period for both tweens and parents. 

      Parents should start talking to their child about puberty as early as age 8 years-old.  Build trust and open communication with your child before it is time to have the talk.  Don't wait until the child comes to you with questions, before initiating a talk.  Children may see something on TV, or the internet, despite your close supervision, or hear something from a friend at school that may make them curious.  When everyone around them is noticing their bodily changes, so is the tween. Your child, who will become a tween, will appreciate their parent's guidance and information as to what is happening to their body as they go through puberty. 

      Many parents are uncomfortable, with even the thought of, having the talk with their child.  You may not be sure you have all the facts straight.  It is also understandable that parents are not comfortable talking with their child about, what you view as, grown-up topics.  But, that time will come, and reading a book and sharing it with your tween is an approach that my mother used, and I, subsequently, used with my own children.  It is an approach I recommend.  You read the book first, then share it with your tween.  Read some chapters aloud together, answering questions as you go along. Schedule times to talk about the book and answer questions your tween will have, once you have left them on their own with the book.  Share some age-appropriate experiences that you had growing up.  I.e.: At what age did you start your menstruation?  At what age did you first need to shave?  Let your tween know you are there to answer their questions at any time.  Here are some book titles to get you started:

For Girls - 10 years-old and up:
Girl Stuff: A Survival Guide to Growing-Up
By Margaret Blackstone and Elissa Haden Guest

The What's Happening to My Body Book for Girls
By Lynda Madaras with Area Madaras

For younger girls:
The Period Book: Everything You Don't Want to Ask (But Need to Know)


For Boys - 10 years-old and up:
Boys Guide to Becoming a Teen 
By American Medical Association

What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys
By Lynda Madaras


*Additional Resource: http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/talk-about-puberty.html


Copyright: Getting to Know Tweens, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, July 20, 2017.  All rights reserved.