Father Absence Is Preventable

By Sharon Rose


      Parents Want to Know 101 has an important message for Fathers. The Pew Research Center, a bi-partisan think tank, based in Washington, D. C., has a new research analysis of the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) which shows that more than one-in-four fathers with children 18 years or younger now live apart from their children.  Of these fathers, 11% live apart from some of their children and 16% live apart from all of their children.  In 1960 only 11% of all children in the United States lived apart from their fathers.  By 2010, it had risen to 27%.  Fathers living apart from their children have greatly risen over the years, but we believe that father absence is preventable.

·          Yes, there are many studies of the family, think tanks who analyze these studies and sociologists who theorize our cultural mores and the role of the father in the family. However, it is our opinion that these analysis, ideologies, and theories probably have one thing missing; the heart of a father with a natural commitment to love a child. That’s all that is needed for a good start.  Although, much more will be needed to take the journey and have a successful finish.  A voluntary motive to carry out an action, such as good parenting, must include more than love. With a natural inclination to love a child, plus the support of parenting skills education, the existence of a good and even great father can grow and develop.  The challenge is made easier if the man who is to father has, himself, had a caring and loving child rearing with strong, positive role models to show him the way.  Only the man will know if he should seek healing in this area.  Loving a child can come natural, but parenting requires learning good parenting skills through education. Fathers must not only be a part of the class, but move to the front of the class.

 

·         Where can fathers start? Who can they go to? Even fathers need a village to parent, and your village could include: your own parents, physician and counselor, pastor, teachers, family, and friends. Accept that, parenting is an area of your life that professional advice, programs, and readings should take priority over friends’ opinions. The internet, also, provides a wealth of information that will allow fathers to seek information in private. Just learn to separate the good from the bad.  The National Fatherhood Initiative provides valuable information for fathers at www.fatherhood.org.  View the video of Troy’s story.  It is poignant and profound, and a real life story of a man’s war within himself to parent his child.  It is the story of Troy and his journey from being a father who dropped out of fatherhood to his achievement of becoming a great Dad. Troy’s story may not be your story, but within it you can find invaluable lessons and see what having a father means, through a child’s eyes.  For new Dads they offer the New Dad’s Pocket Guide.  Parenting is all about protecting, providing for, teaching, (discipline is also teaching) and learning good parenting skills. The New Dad’s Pocket Guide gives new Dads all the information they need to get started: Key health and safety information, creating a safe nursery, child proofing the home, bonding with baby from day one, showing affection, being a role model, and more. Even though this guide was designed for new Dads, all Dads can benefit from reading it. We believe that fathers have an extremely important role in child-rearing, whether they live in the household or outside of the household.  We believe father absence is preventable, don't you?     
     
      Note:  To view Troy' Story at http://www.fatherhood.org/ type Troy's Story or video on Troy into the search engine on their website.

   
    

Research Findings at: www.pewresearch.org

Reading Sources for Fathers: 

The Joy of Fatherhood: The First Twelve Months Expanded 2^nd Edition by, Marcus Jacob Goldman, MD, 2000.

Dad’s Pregnant, Too, by Harlan Cohen, 2008.

Fatherhood, by Bill Cosby, 1986.

Throwaway Dads: The Myths and Barriers That Keep Men from Being the Fathers They Want to Be, by Ross D. Parke and Armin Brott, 1999.

Daddy’s Home at Last, by Mike Singletary, NFL, with Russ Pate, 1991.

The First Part Last, by Angela Johnson, 2004.  Youth Fiction, Subject: teenage fatherhood.

New Dad’s Pocket Guide, The National Fatherhood Initiative, internet.

Parents Want to Know 101, Blog by Sharon Rose, www.parentswanttoknow101.blogspot.com.   



Copyright, Father Absence is Preventable, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, September 11, 2011, all rights reserved.