Parents Want to Know 101

Welcome to Parents Want to Know 101. Parents Want to Know 101 was created for parents and those interested in parenting issues and trends, from birth to college, and beyond. It provides exposure to important and current information, relevant to raising a healthy, happy, independent, successful child. What should we, as adults, contribute to our families, the community, and our country to make this happen? The children are our future. Parents need one another; it does take a village.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Relationship Goals

by Sharon Rose

It's Valentine Week! It's a great time to work on RELATIONSHIP GOALS. Parents, keep your relationship fresh and alive! Love is a living and breathing feeling, and should be handled tenderly, and never taken for granted. To maintain and grow your love in a relationship, each partner must actively express love. Speak up! Don't be shy! Take time for romance! Love is a strong, beautiful, emotional feeling that is alive, grows, and needs care and attention to thrive. If not, the bond you share will, likely, begin to fade. The old adage that love is like a garden is true. You must give it care and attention for it to keep its vibrance, and grow. Create and design your love, just as an architect would design the lines of a beautifully structured building. For both, their stability, attractiveness, and charm can live forever.

You should have thoughtful and realistic expectations of your relationship. Each partner should benefit, in positive ways, from being in the relationship. The primary benefit of the relationship is to receive and give love, affection, and to support each other in good times, and through challenges. As you seek to achieve your goals in the relationship, especially those which benefit the family as a whole, your love relationship should rise to being a partnership for a bright and successful future. If you want a long-lasting, successful relationship, make a commitment to your partner’s emotional well-being, even when you feel it’s not easy. This means being affectionate towards your partner through the good and the bad, when it’s most needed, and when it is least expected. Allowing your garden of love to lay stagnate through the rough patches, that will come, will only cause unwanted weedy feelings to crop up. Embrace these times as the learning experiences of life, that they most often are, and embrace each other with hugs and kisses during these times. This is what will make your relationship strong, potent, and lasting.

Keep the romance alive in your relationship! Both partners, from time to time, can plan something romantic, if no more than, a candle-lit dinner at home. However, it would be so special to get creative: a trip to the spa for a couple’s massage: a horse drawn carriage ride in the evening; a moonlight picnic on the beach with a favorite wine, and don't forget the blanket; weekend trip to a cabin in the mountains; a dip in a sauna; and enjoy a beautiful sunrise together. I’m sure you can think of more! A simple hug and kiss at the door to say good-bye for the day, and again, hello, when you return, can be a romantic ritual that each partner can look forward to. Enjoy each other and cherish the happiness your relationship is meant to bring. Enjoy being in-love, forever!!

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

How to Communicate with Your Teen

by Sharon Rose

The teen years, more than any other stage of your child's development, is a time when your child needs to hear your voice, trust your relationship, and know that you listen when they have something to say. It is a time when parents have to delve deeper into topics that may make them feel uncomfortable to talk about with their teen, such as: sex, STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), drugs and alcohol, bullying, teen dating, teen dating violence, and other topics that affect health and safety. There are also life choices to talk about, like college and career. So, you have to start to build a trusting relationship long before the teen years arrive. With patience and respect, parents can build good communication with their teen. Parents can avoid roadblocks that will leave them, "on the outside looking in," to what is their teen's life.

Parent Tips to Communicate with Teen:

1. Don't lecture, shout, and scream. Have a conversation. You want positive results so, create a positive environment. Show RESPECT to your teen, even when giving discipline. Remain assertive and firm, even if they DISRESPECT you. Model the appropriate behavior you want to see from them. The "do as I say," approach won't work. Situations that involve conflict with your teen will happen. It's up to you to keep things under control, resolve the conflict with assertive talk, and with a plan of action.

2. Listen. Show a genuine interest in your teen's opinions and concerns. Giving them your "time" will mean a lot. Quality time is not over-rated.

3. When addressing rule infractions or other serious concerns "don't attack" or "accuse," but choose this as a time to listen, and use firmness and natural consequences to give a stern message.

4. Take advantage of "down-time," to strike up a conversation with your teen. Meal-time, car rides, camping-out, and when the commercial comes on while watching a TV show together, can be the perfect time to have those short and simple conversations that build trust.

5. Remain the parent and the adult, not the friend. You can have an enjoyable, fun relationship with your teen and still remain firm and the disciplinarian, when needed. Communicating with your teen does not mean talking with them like another teen and using slang. Especially, don't say "yes," when you should say, "no."

6. Remember to show your teen affection in ways that they are comfortable with. They are no longer babies, but a hug, a smile, a high-five, can go a long way in reminding them how much you love and care for them.