Parents Want to Know 101: How to Communicate with Your Teen

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

How to Communicate with Your Teen

by Sharon Rose

The teen years, more than any other stage of your child's development, is a time when your child needs to hear your voice, trust your relationship, and know that you listen when they have something to say. It is a time when parents have to delve deeper into topics that may make them feel uncomfortable to talk about with their teen, such as: sex, STDs (sexually transmitted diseases), drugs and alcohol, bullying, teen dating, teen dating violence, and other topics that affect health and safety. There are also life choices to talk about, like college and career. So, you have to start to build a trusting relationship long before the teen years arrive. With patience and respect, parents can build good communication with their teen. Parents can avoid roadblocks that will leave them, "on the outside looking in," to what is their teen's life.

Parent Tips to Communicate with Teen:

1. Don't lecture, shout, and scream. Have a conversation. You want positive results so, create a positive environment. Show RESPECT to your teen, even when giving discipline. Remain assertive and firm, even if they DISRESPECT you. Model the appropriate behavior you want to see from them. The "do as I say," approach won't work. Situations that involve conflict with your teen will happen. It's up to you to keep things under control, resolve the conflict with assertive talk, and with a plan of action.

2. Listen. Show a genuine interest in your teen's opinions and concerns. Giving them your "time" will mean a lot. Quality time is not over-rated.

3. When addressing rule infractions or other serious concerns "don't attack" or "accuse," but choose this as a time to listen, and use firmness and natural consequences to give a stern message.

4. Take advantage of "down-time," to strike up a conversation with your teen. Meal-time, car rides, camping-out, and when the commercial comes on while watching a TV show together, can be the perfect time to have those short and simple conversations that build trust.

5. Remain the parent and the adult, not the friend. You can have an enjoyable, fun relationship with your teen and still remain firm and the disciplinarian, when needed. Communicating with your teen does not mean talking with them like another teen and using slang. Especially, don't say "yes," when you should say, "no."

6. Remember to show your teen affection in ways that they are comfortable with. They are no longer babies, but a hug, a smile, a high-five, can go a long way in reminding them how much you love and care for them.