Parents Want to Know 101: Toy Guide 2014 - 2015

By Sharon Rose

Our all new list for 2014 - 2015.  Unique, fun, and educational toys. *Prices taken from Walmart price list, unless otherwise stated.  Prices will vary throughout holiday.  *Some prices given found online. 

1.   Xbox One Bundles; Ages 5 to adult; prices vary.  Includes, Xbox One Halo: The Master Chief Collection Bundle - $329; Xbox One with Kinect and Forza 5 Motorsport - $429.99; Xbox One Bundle with Choice of 1 game & 12-month Xbox Live Gold Card $379.
  

Xbox

 2.   Fisher Price Smart Screen Laptop; Ages 6 mos. to 3 yrs.; Price: $18.88. Description: Baby appropriate laptop animated LED screen, sing-a-long songs in English and Spanish.

3.   Laugh & Learn Crawl Around Car, Fisher Price; Ages 6 mos. - 3yrs.; Price: $38.99, Amazon.com.  Description: Shaped like a car and child sits in it to play.  Plays more than 75 songs to sing-a-long with, can twist steering wheel, honk horn, shift gears and turn the key, etc.  Imaginative play.

Laugh & Learn Crawl Around Car, Fisher Price

4.  Parum Pum-Pum Drum; Ages 18 months +; Price: $34.00; Description: Comes with drumsticks, jingle bells, tambourine, maracas with clackers, and 2 egg shakers.  All fit inside for easy travel.

Parum Pum-Pum

 

5.  Bright Eyes Blanket; Ages 3 and older; Price: $19.99, online purchase only. Description: Use for blanket, towel, or dress-up; choose from puppy, duck, panda, or kitten attached hood.   

6.   Fisher Price Classic Two Tune TV; Ages 1 yr. and up; Price: $18.74, Amazon.com.  Description: this picture, music box has been around for generations to enjoy. Plays, "Row Row Row Your Boat," and "London Bridge Is Falling Down," while related scenes scroll across the screen.

Fisher Price Classic Two Tune TV

7.   Melissa & Doug Classic ABC Wagon Pull Cart, Ages 3 yrs. and up; Price $12.99, Amazon.com. Description: 30 alphabet blocks, a colorful way to learn the ABCs. Use as building blocks and pull in cart. 

8.   Hot Wheels Street Hawk, Remote Control Flying Car; Ages 5 - 15. Price: $49.92. Description: Lots of excitement when kids see this flying car take to the skies.

Hot Wheels Remote Control Flying Car

 

9.  Teksta Robotic Puppy Blue; Ages 5 yrs. and up; Price: $114.00, Amazon.com.  Description: Robotic puppy responds to voice commands, lights up, makes sounds; interactive fun.

Teksta Robotic Puppy Blue

  

10.  Zoomer-Interactive Dino, by Leap Frog; Ages 3 +; Price: $79.88.  Description: Roars, moveable, and ready to be trained by his owner to dance, follow you around, and more.  The perfect pre-historic pet.  Has storage section to hide away treasures. 

Zoomer Interactive Dino

 

11.  LeapFrog LeapPad Ultra Kids Learning Tablet - pink or green;  Ages 4 - 9 yrs.; Price: $149.99, Target. Description: WiFi /Kid Safe Web, pre-screened by Leapfrog has appropriate content only. Play games, download music, write, draw, search, etc. 

LeapFrog LeapPad Ultra Kids Learning Tablet 

12.  Vtech Kidizoom Smartwatch; Age 4 +.  Price:$49.99, Kmart. Description: Perfect for young photographers, this durable smartwatch makes it easy to take photos and record videos on the go.

Vtech Kidizoom Smartwatch

 

  

 13.  VTech Pop & Count Vacuum; Ages 12 mos. - 36 mos.; Price: $19.49, Amazon.com. Description: Interactive push toy introduces counting, has sing-along songs, and more.

VTech Pop & Count Vacuum

14.  Nintendo Wii Gaming System in Black Bundle with Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort; Ages 6 yrs. and up; Price: $129.00.  Description: Action packed games; you control action on screen; includes Wii console, remote,  nonchuck and game. Other games available include: Michael Jackson: The Experience, $14.96, Walmart, and Just Dance Kids 2014,$39.25, Amazon.com.

  

15.  Furby Boom, by Hasbro; Ages 6 yrs. and up; Price: $63.99. Description: Comes in many colors and bold designs. Plush interactive toy that talks, dances, blinks, etc. Develops a personality based on how you play with it. Comes with an app that you use to take care of your Furby Boom: bath, dress, and even have it hatch an egg to create a new generation of Furbies.

Furby Boom, by Hasbro

 16.  Leap Frog Tag Learning System & Books; Ages 3 yrs. and up; Price: From $38.00 up. Description: Encourages beginners to read; uses “touch to word” wand with audio.  

17.  Fisher-Price Laugh & Learn - Learning Puppy; Ages 6 mos. - 36 mos. Price: $17.99, Amazon.com. Description: huggable toy that teaches alphabet, numbers,  counting, parts of the body, sing-a-longs and more. Heart lights up and twinkles to the music. 

18.  Mini Micro 3 in 1 Scooter; Ages 1 - 5; Price: $91.99, Amazon.com. Description: Available in various colors.

Mini Micro 3 in 1 Scooter

 

 19.  FurReal Friends Get Up and Go Go My Walking Plush Pup Pet; Age 4 +. Price: $26.99, Amazon.com.   Description: Experience what it's like owning a cuddly pet.  Plush pup is controlled by lease to walk it, wags tail, tilts head, barks when you talk to it, and more.   *See other FurReal Friends.  Prices of other animals vary.



FurReal Friends Get Up and Go Go My Walking Plush Pup

 20.  LEGO Legends of Chima The Lion CHI Temple; Ages 8 - 14 yrs.; 

Price: $119.99, ToysRus. Description: An epic Battle of the Chi is played out with Legos. Includes 7 mini-figures with weapons. Imaginative play and Lego skill. 

 21.  Flutterbye Flying Fairy Doll; Ages 5 - 9; Price: $24.77. Description: Launches from base and magically flies through the air.  See instructions.

Flutterbye Flying Fairy Doll

 22.  Disney Frozen Sparkle Princess Elsa Doll; Age 4+. Price: $14.99. Frozen Sparkle Anna; Price: $12.79.  Amazon.com

Frozen Elsa & Anna

 

23.  Baby Alive Wanna’ Walk Doll; Ages 3 and up; Price: $34.88. Description: Doll walks and talks. Over 40 fun phrases and sounds. 

 24.  Barbie Collector Holiday Doll 2014, Ages 6 & up; Price: $33.97,  Amazon.com.  Description: From the Barbie collection of dolls, wearing a beautiful, red, shimmery gown.  Popular with collectors.



Barbie Holiday Collector Doll 2014

 

 25.  Sofia the First Talking Sofia Doll and Animal Friends Play Set; Ages 3 yrs. and up; Price: $32.88. Description: Sofia, dressed in a beautiful ball gown and crown can talk to the animals. Imaginative play.

Sofia the First Talking Sofia Doll and Animal Friends Play Set

26.  Hot Wheels Wall Wheel Starter Set, by Mattel; Ages 4 yrs. and up; Price: $47.97. Description: Race track that mounts on wall at eye level; wall protective strips provided.

27.  VTech Sit-to-Stand Learning Walker; Ages 9 mos. - 36 mos.; Price: $29.99; Amazon.com. Description: Helps your baby go from crawling to walking while having fun and learning with the removable activity board.

VTech Sit-to-Stand Learning Walker

28.  First Act Disney Mater Acoustic Guitar; Ages 4 yrs. and up; Price: $39.94, Amazon.com. Description: Starter instrument - Cinderella, Lightening McQueen pictures on guitar, etc.  *Prices vary depending on Disney character and level of instrument. 

29.  Baby Einstein Take Along Tunes; Ages 0 - 6 mos.; Price: $8.00, Amazon.com.  Description: Baby version of MP3 player. Promotes an appreciation for music, has colorful dancing lights, and handle to carry along.  Baby will hear classical tunes by Mozart, Chopin, etc.

Baby Einstein Take Along Tunes

30.  Leap Frog Pad 2 Power Kids' Tablet for Learning; Ages 4 – 9 yrs.; Price: $89.73.  Description: Kid-friendly tablet that imitates the iPads of their parents.  Includes rechargeable battery with battery pack; never buy batteries again ($40 value); take pictures and videos, play games, and much more.  Price shop this one as prices widely vary. 

31.  Simon Swipe Game; Ages 6 yrs. and up. Price: $14.76,  Amazon.com.  Description: It's the modern twist on a classic game, Simon.  It is a fast-paced game in which you remember and repeat the patterns. 

Simon  Swipe Game

32.  Disney Doc McStuffins Time for Your Check-up Doll; Ages 3-6 yrs.; Price: $32.97.  Description: African American doll is one of the hottest selling dolls, taken from Disney Channel TV show hit. Talking doll is dressed as doctor with bag of magical tools to fix toys. Includes talking lamb, Lambie. Batteries are included.

Disney Doc Mc Stuffins Time for Your Check-up Doll

33.  Disney Doc McStuffins Deluxe Get Better Check-Up Center; Ages 3 and up. Price: $69.99, ToysRus.  Description: Center has everything needed to heal the sick toys, to include The Big Book of Boo Boos to help in giving a diagnosis. 

34.  Evenflo Exersaucer, Mega Around Town; Price: $61.95; Evenflo Exersaucer Bounce & Learn Bee; Price $81.99. Evenflo Exersaucer Activity Center, Mega Splash; Price: $54.99. Ages 6 mos. - 14 mos., all at Amazon.com.  Description: Baby walker and bouncing toy; rocks, spins, and bounces.

Evenflo Exersaucer, Mega Around Town

35. Toy Story Power Blaster Buzz Lightyear  Action Figure; Ages 4 yrs. and up. Price:$33.74. Description: Battery-operated character from the movie has bonus items, including  a power blaster and energy shield, which fit into Buzz Lightyear's hands. Posable and talking action figure features retractable helmet and buttons that activate a variety of 20 well-known sayings and sound effects.

Toy Story Power Blaster Buzz Lightyear  Action Figure

36.  Strider ST-3 No Pedal Balance Bicycle; Price: $87.50 - $181.99, Amazon.com.  Description: Pre-bike, balance bicycle for toddlers.  Comes in girl and boy colors.  Fits height 30" to 44" tall.  *Note that there are no pedals.

Strider ST-3 No Pedal Balance Bicycle

37.  Spider-Man Boy's Bicycle (Multi-16 inch); Ages - Base on height of child; likely will need to try out for height; Price: $79.99, Amazon.com.  Description: Comes with training wheels, adjustable seat, movie graphics. 

38.  Razor Crazy Cart,  Ages 9+; Price: $349.99, ToysRus.  

Description: Go cart style riding toy goes forward, reverse, sideways, diagonally, and everything In-between. Goes speeds of up to 12 Mph. 

39.   Y – Volution Y Fliker F1 Scooter; Ages 5-9 yrs.; Price $99.99, ToysRus.  Description: Unique 3 wheel scooter.

Y – Volution Y Fliker F1 Scooter

40.  Fisher-Price Little People Animal Fun Sounds Farm; Ages 1 yr. - 4 yrs. Price: $37.99. Description: Imaginative play with farm, Farmer Jed, and animals who make sounds.

Fisher-Price Little People Animal Fun Sounds Farm

41.  Imaginarium Mountain Rock Train Table, Ages 3 and up; Price: $109.99, ToysRus. Description: NEW, table and train set has over 100 pieces and 23+ feet of track. There are 5 different play areas, including Two Tower Bridge with lights and sounds, a 2-Level Mountain Tunnel, and Passenger Train Station. Hear the sounds of a real working train station. *Price shop; prices vary widely.



Imaginarium Mountain Rock Train Table

42.  Bright Star, Having a Ball, Get Cookin' Kitchen; Age 1 year +; Price: $34.99, Target.  Description: Playtime in the kitchen, with 2-sided display.

Bright Star, Having a Ball, Get Cookin' Kitchen

 

43.  Tabeo E2 8 Inch Kids Tablet- Silver (personal computer); Ages 6 - 11; Price:$189.98, Amazon.com. Description: kids' tablet, like adult version, to explore the Internet, watch movies, play games, etc. 

44.  Fisher-Price Imaginext Super Friends Batcave; Ages 3 - 8; Price: $45.99, Amazon.com. Description: Kids can pretend to protect Gotham City while living in the Batcave. Super heroes Batman and Robin mini-figures included and more. 

45.  Monopoly Empire Game, by Hasbro; Ages 8 yrs. and up; Price: $21.99, Amazon.com. Description: Classic game with a new twist. Players buy their favorite brands and offices to build to the very top of their tower. Win by filling your tower with billboards.  

Monopoly Empire Game

46.  Our Generation 20" Thoroughbred Horse, and Our Generation Lipizzaner Horse, and various other models w/accessories; Age 3 +; Prices $13.99 - $27.99, Target.  Description: Includes saddle and saddle pad, bridle with reins, blinders, a pair of leg warmers, a brush, a carrot, a bottle, and a trophy.  Various horses have varied accessories.

 

 

 

Our Generation Thoroughbred Horse and Our Generation Lipizzaner Horse



47.  Our Generation Horse Stable; Age 8 +; Price: $112.00, Amazon.com.  Description: Pretty pink stable includes 3 stalls for horses and every thing needed for a little girl to care for her horse.  Fits 18" American Girl Doll.

Our Generation Horse Stable

48.  American Girl Doll; Age 8 +; Price: varies from about $174.00 - $275.00.  Many choices for doll outfits and accessories with varying prices.  Description: Dolls who represent girls from many walks of life, circumstances, cultures, historical eras, and achievements.

 

 

 

American Girl: Sonali, doll with horse riding outfit, doll having hospital visit.

 

 

 49.  Woofer, Hound Dog Guitar; Ages 2+; Price: $19.99, Target.  Description: Plays 20 familiar to and 9 doggie ditties.  Has realistic strings.

Woofer, Hound Dog Guitar

50. Elenco Snap Circuits Green - Alternative Energy Kit; Ages 8 +; Price: $48.95.  Description: Learn about energy sources by building any of 125 projects included in the kit. Create working electronics circuits that include, solar cells, windmill, LEDs, and more.

Copyright, Parents Want to Know 101: Toy Guide, 2014 - 2015, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, December 1, 2014.  All rights reserved.

Travel Guide for the Well-Traveled Family, Part 5: Traveling with Children

By Sharon Rose

I love to travel!  This is going to be fun!!

     Since it is the most challenging, we are going to talk about traveling on an airplane with children. I have heard some travel advisers strongly suggest traveling with children at nighttime so they will sleep and therefore not be a problem. I believe children should have the opportunity to travel anywhere and be wide awake so they can learn through the experience. The best way for children to learn is through exposure to the world they live in. Issues that come up while traveling with children, such as, flight delays, fidgety or boisterous behavior, cabin pressure, or a fellow passenger that has a low tolerance for children can be managed. Let’s get started sorting it out.

Safety

     A few days before you depart for vacation, take some time to go over basic safety rules and strategies with your kids, some of which may already be in place in your home.  A good way to approach this would be to remind them that these are rules that they are already familiar with because many are the same rules we have at home. The reminder is needed; after-all, the excitement of new places and experiences can be overwhelming, and curiosity may cause kids to set their rules aside.  Go over home phone number, address, and the proper use of the 911 emergency number. Since you are away from home it is vital that you child memorize your cell phone number, as well. There is also the option of creating a safety card, and have your child keep it with him, for example, in his pocket. The card should have all vital information on it, to include, the name of the hotel where you are staying, your cell phone number, and your first name.  If you don't mind writing on your child you can write your phone number on your child's arm. There is even a company that has introduced information temporary-tatoos for children with a space for the parents' phone number.  This, your child would not be able to loose, as with a card.  Remind young ones what to do if they get separated from you, who they can trust and about safety in numbers. Also, this is a good time to remind them of stranger-danger that you have, most likely, gone over many times.

Young, First-Time Fliers 

     Prepare children who are first-time fliers for what it is like going through the security checkpoint at the airport. Everyone, including the children, should wear shoes that are easy to take on and off.  Removing your shoes is just one of the strict safety measures in place at airports for all passengers, who are required to go through a security check-point.  Role play with your child the way in which travelers are required to go through the metal checkpoint door frame, the way it may "buzz," and why, how the wand is used to wave over the travelers body, and a "touching" body check done by the security agents.  Try to put your child at ease.  Although much of the extra security check actions may not happen, you would want to prepare your child just in case it does.  Taking the fear out of traveling for your child will make for a traveling experience filled with fun from beginning to end.  Get all the current facts of going through the security checkpoint at the airport, beforehand, in order to share them with your child. Once you board the plane, secure your child’s seat-belt and prepare to help him have an enjoyable flight.  Make it fun! 

Where's the Entertainment?

     There may be in-flight entertainment, but don't rely on it alone.  Many larger airlines have in-flight entertainment such as films, music, and even children's channels.  However, there are times when it might be broken or not appropriate for your child’s age group.  Also, wearing the headphones might irritate your child, in some way, because they are sized for adults.  Best bet, bring your own assortment of entertaining activities for your child.

Some suggestions are: (Choose a few of these from the list.)

1.   Portable video game consoles.
2.   MP3 player, plus music and audio books.
3.   An electronic book that can be played softly.
4.   Coloring books, activity books, blank drawing paper – Don’t forget the pencils and crayons!
5.   Stickers - These are useful for making designs on blank pages while drawing.
6.   Magnetic games - Buy the travel-size game kits.

7.   Books to read together.
8.   Flash-cards: 
9.   Kid's puzzle books - Sudoku, crosswords, find-a-word, mad-libs, jokes, etc. (One of my favorites.)
10. Print off some games to play on paper, such as tic-tac-toe, mazes or dot-to-dots. There are many such print-outs available on kids' websites online.
11.  A favorite stuffed animal or doll.

     Don’t forget to bring along some snacks in your carry-on bag.  Choose foods that are not packed with sugar and won’t melt or crumble apart and make a mess.  Licorice, apples, pretzels, cereal, and granola bars are good options. Try preparing these snacks in unique ways to keep it fun. Young kids will love cereal, like Cheerios or Fruit Loops, strung onto yarn to form an edible necklace.  You can also make up your own bags of trail mix with your child’s favorite combo’.

 

.....and More

      Reward your child for good behavior. Surprise and reward your child for his patience on long journeys. Wrap up a new toy and present him with it after he has proven that he has been well-behaved enough. Nothing big or expensive; check the dollar store in your area.  He will feel that you appreciate his cooperation.

     Have the kids become vacation planners right along with you, when age appropriate. Contact the tourism board or local chamber of commerce of your destination before leaving for your trip. Request travel brochures and tourist information. Arrange these in a folder for ease of viewing during the flight. Let the kids flip through the fliers and magazines while in flight to further prepare them and boost their enthusiasm

     A small challenge of flying with children is cabin pressure.  Rapid changes in cabin pressure can make little ears pop, so keep drinks, baby bottle, or pacifiers available for take-offs and landings (sucking helps reduce ear sensitivity). If your child is old enough to chew gum, try that. Chewing gum to combat the uncomfortable, sometimes painful feeling of cabin pressure is something that helps me. 

     Then, airplanes present unique challenges for parents with young children.  Kids under age two are not required by law to be restrained on airplanes, so it's up to every parent to decide how to travel.  If you decide to ride with baby on your lap, consider a flight vest that secures your child to your lap belt. These vests are not designed for use during takeoff and landing, but for cruising, when turbulence most often occurs. 

     The Federal Aviation Administration recommends that small children be seated in a car seat. However, this is not the law as in traveling in a car. The only way to guarantee that your child can use a car seat is to purchase a ticket. Some airlines offer discounted fares for kids under two. If that isn't a possibility, select a non-peak flight time that's more likely to have empty seats.

     Finally, ask questions when in doubt.  You’re ready for take off!!  Enjoy your flight!!

Copyright, Travel Tips for the Well-Traveled Family, Part 5: Traveling with Children, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, July 11, 2013.  All rights reserved.

  

Terrible Twos: A Sign Your Toddler Is Growing Up

By Sharon Rose

     

     Toddlers are funny and amazing; oh, the things they can do and say!  Toddlers can also be difficult and need a lot of understanding and patience from their parents. They go through a normal stage in their development referred to as "terrible twos."  It is a stage with a notorious reputation, that all parents dread and fear.  It is talked about in Mom circles, even before it arrives.  Your toddler can go through “terrible twos" as early as, before the age of one year, and as late as five years.  Typically, however, it shows up between eighteen months and three years old.  Each of my own three children went through it at different ages.  It is not until age six that your child is expected to understand “reason.”  So, get ready for a phasing in and out of unpredictable and irritable behavior that will last beyond the age of two.  Expect temper tantrums, mood swings, and the word "no" to be used frequently as this rite of passage is ushered in.  Be assured, it is nothing your child is doing on purpose to anger you, but he is sending a signal that he needs your help learning to find his way in the world.  Parents are often shocked when their little angels, suddenly, turn into difficult, uncooperative, bossy, adventurous risk-takers. Toddlers going through "terrible twos" are experiencing rapid intellectual, motor, social, and emotional changes.  It is a sign that your toddler is growing up. They are eager to do things on their own without any help from Mommy or Daddy, even if it is a task too difficult for a toddler to do. They are risk-takers, so must be watched very closely to keep them safe.  They climb on things that are not for climbing, often out of curiosity about something that is at the top.  Their vocabulary is growing, but is not big enough yet to clearly communicate all their needs and wants.  All of these changes and the limitations cause frustration for your toddler, which can show up as a temper tantrum or moodiness.  Oh, the growing pains!  Who are they more painful for; your toddler or you?  The answer is, both; but you will get through it. 

     Parents and toddlers can get through this, because it is a normal stage that will pass.  What’s most important is how you react to this behavior.  Prepare to be patient and exercise age appropriate discipline with consistency.  Some situations are more difficult to handle than others.  Have a plan ahead of time to handle “extreme” temper tantrums.  In situations where a child is having an “extreme” temper tantrum a parent’s best course of action is to ignore the behavior, walk away, but only a safe distance.  If they fall to the floor, kick and thrash wildly about, remove any items within their reach that they may hurt themselves on.  Keep an eye on them, without giving them attention, to make sure they are safe.  Avoid giving attention to this kind of unwanted behavior, as your child will repeat the behavior for more attention.  Never shout, or yell.  Use a patient, but firm voice to signal that you, the parent, are in charge. Parents should use positive words, and avoid using the word "no."  This is your little ones favorite word now and you don't want to encourage the use of it.  When the “storm” is over, initiate an appropriate form of discipline.  Don’t worry, with consistent discipline your little caterpillar will emerge a butterfly.  Now is the time, while they are little, to modify behaviors that are unwanted ones.

Choosing a Form of Discipline for your Toddler

     What techniques are being used by today’s parents to discipline the average behavior problem?  At risk of much uproar I’m going to address where corporal punishment, a hot topic, stands with the parents of today.  Corporal punishment is an “old school” form of punishing a child to correct behavior.  Research studies show that by the time children in the United States reach high school, 85% of them have received some form of corporal punishment.  It is still held on to, often because of religious beliefs, despite an overwhelming number of research studies opposing it.  Most of us are familiar with Proverbs 13:24, “Spare the rod, spoil the child.”  To many, this Bible verse is proof that corporal punishment is the form of discipline that those with Christian values should accept.  Although all fifty states in the United States allow corporal punishment, there are many countries, such as Sweden and Germany, who have banned it.  Thankfully, gone are the days of rubbing a baby’s gums with alcohol for teething pain, and a teaspoon of turpentine on sugar for a cough.  I was one who, as a child, regrettably, was “healed” with that method.  Due to expert research studies a new set of parenting techniques have been accepted and are believed to promote optimal child development, which includes the trend of teaching children to use American Sign Language to communicate as young as 4 and 5 months old.  As far as discipline, today’s trend in parenting is to use time-out techniques as the preferred method.  Time-out is not a punishment, as opposed to corporal punishment.  Research shows corporal punishment can have short-term effectiveness. Time-out techniques are equally effective, but with preferred long-term effects and without the side effects caused by corporal punishment.  Why model aggressive behavior by spanking or whipping and risk an escalation of the punishment that could result in unintentional abuse; or cause anti-social behavior or the same modeled aggression in the child?  The American Academy of Pediatrics favors time-out, and I agree. Time-out can be used, effectively, in various forms from about two years old and up to teen age years.  Let’s talk about time-out for toddlers.  Here is a guide to achieve effective, long-term, positive behavior modification with your child.

Guide for Time-Out Techniques:

1.    Start early with “time-in.”  Have the expectation that the day will come that you will have to modify or correct certain behaviors.  Time-in is the attention, quality time, and the recognition you give to positive behavior.  Example: Be conscious of giving verbal praise and hugs when they follow the rules; hold your toddler in your lap; read books together; act as a playmate; etc.  When time-out is given, and they must sit alone, quiet, no playing; your toddler will have a point of reference as to what they are being denied. 

2.    Prepare your toddler and yourself.  Be clear ahead of time, what time-out will be used for; such as hitting another person, or unsafe behavior.  Both parents should agree to use the same method.  Prepare your toddler for the time-out process by explaining the process the first time it is used.  Place your toddler in time-out, immediately, upon the need to correct a behavior.  Try using other methods, like “quiet-time,” distraction, diversion, and humor when time-out is not needed, but your toddler needs to gain some self-control in a situation.  These behavior shaping strategies are preferred before the age of eighteen months to two years.

3.    Be brief.  State why you are placing them in time-out. Example: Say something like, “You are being placed in time-out; you will get hurt climbing.”  Try to limit your statement to 10 to 12 words.  Your toddler’s understanding of language is still developing.   

4.    You are the time keeper.  Give one minute for each year of the child’s age.  Use a timer that your child can hear go off, such as the one on the kitchen stove or a cell phone.  A two or three year old has no conception of time. Saying, “You have two minutes in time-out,” may be lost on a two year old.  They will be more willing to sit quietly and wait for a “ding.”   

5.    Keep it quiet.  Don’t preach at your child while they sit in time-out.  Use a chair, or have child sit "criss-cross legs" in a quiet area away from the TV and away from the scene of the misbehavior.  Have your child face forward, not face the wall.  Give them eye contact when you speak to them. Do not embarrass your child.  Their self image should not be damaged.  While your toddler is in time-out encourage them to sit quiet and wait for the “ding.”  When their time is up allow them to come out immediately.  If they are crying or having a tantrum while in time-out, let them know their time will be up when they are quiet.  Again, do not yell at your child; remain calm.  “Petting-up” should not be done, nor is it helpful.

6.    Make your expectations clear.  When your child comes out of time-out, sit with your child to make it clear what behavior you expect instead of the behavior that resulted in the time-out.  Young children who are learning to navigate in a world new to them do not know what to do until you teach them.  After a brief chat to explain, on their level, your expectations, always give them a hug.  The hug is an important part of the process.  This lets your child know that the time-out was to teach them, not punish them; that you are not angry.  Your toddler will learn that parents get angry soon enough, when they are older.             

7.    What should you do if your child refuses to go to time-out?  If your child refuses to go to time-out   take them by the hand to lead them there.  If they continue to resist, as the parent, physically place them in time out, showing that you are the adult in charge.  If your child leaves the time-out, repeat this until they remain in time-out.  If an “extreme” temper tantrum results, use your judgment as to when you should walk away.  Watch child’s safety from a distance and initiate appropriate discipline when your child has calmed down.  Do not “give in” and be sure to complete the time-out process.  

8.     Time-out when you are away from home allows consistency to continue.   Regardless of where you are, if your child misbehaves you can time them out.  Consistency is important in modifying unwanted behavior.  If you are away from home use creative ideas and good judgment to time your child out.  If at the mall, find a bench; if at the supermarket, find a quiet corner; or even if at the library, as I once experienced, use a library chair and announce time-out.

9.    Time-out, when it involves a group of children, is possible.  If you have several children of your own or if a group of children are visiting, say, for a birthday party, placing them in separate chairs around the room or other areas of the home can be done.  Parents must take control, in appropriate ways of disciplining to gain control of out-of-control children.  It’s no different from a referee at a sports game having to blow the whistle when time-out is called by the coach.  You can explain it this way to children of age levels who can understand.  “Quiet- time” is another strategy to calm a group.  Parent calls “quiet time" and child sits anywhere, briefly, and is expected to remain quiet.  This strategy is preferred to control unwanted behaviors like running in the house or too rough horseplay.  

10.    Language development, as it increases, will make time-out easier and more effective in increasing wanted behaviors and decreasing unwanted behaviors in your child.  For toddlers who have older siblings, the time-out process is likely to be more familiar because of their exposure to it.  For these children, it may seem like fun at first to join in with a sibling activity.  However, as your toddler has repeated visits to the time-out chair or area, the boredom and hurt feelings from leaving a play activity will set in. 

     

  

If your toddler is having a temper tantrum, have him to remain in time out until it's over. In a case such as this the "minute per year of age" rule would not apply.

      Other disciplinary strategies, such as, taking away a favorite thing or activity may be incorporated when your child is older.  This strategy can work as a partner to time-out.  Time-out is the preferred disciplinary technique for toddlers going through “terrible twos.”  Parents may use quiet-time to calm overactive behavior, such as, running in the house, before taking the next step of time-out.  These strategies prevent parents from using impulsive spanking out of frustration, and allow parents time to decide, what’s next.  You can succeed in rearing a well-trained, happy, and healthy child.  In time, the "so-called-terrible-twos" will be behind you.

Sources:
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/101/4/723.full 
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/toddlers/a/05_terrble_twos.htm 

Robert E. Larzelere & Brett R. Kuhn, Comparing Child Outcomes of Physical Punishment and Alternative Disciplinary Tactics: A Meta-Analysis, 8 Clinical Child & Family Psychology, rev. 1 (2005).

Copyright, Sharon Rose, "Terrible Twos: A Sign Your Toddler is Growing Up,Cannot be  " Parents Want to Know 101, January 9, 2013.   Cannot be reprinted without consent of the author.  All rights reserved.

 

The Father's Role In the Contemporary Family: How Children Benefit From An Involved Father

By Sharon Rose

      The role of fathers in the modern American family is changing in important and countervailing ways. Fathers who live with their children have become more intensely involved in their lives, spending more time with them and taking part in a greater variety of activities, and their children are benefiting. However, the share of fathers who are residing with their children has fallen significantly in the past half century.

      In 1960, only 11% of children in the U.S. lived apart from their fathers. By 2010, that share had risen to 27%. In contrast, the share of minor children living apart from their mothers increased only modestly, from 4% in 1960 to 8% in 2010. According to a new Pew Research Center analysis of the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG), more than one-in-four fathers with children 18 or younger now live apart from their children, with 11% living apart from some of their children and 16% living apart from all of their children.

      Our families look at a lot of TV in which we see the two parent family. However, is this real life? Despite the dream of the two parent home with a resident father, this is not the reality in many homes across the U.S. Although it is not the reality, we believe that involved fathers play a very important role in the family and advocate a "father presence," whether he is living in the home or outside of the home his children are living in. Fathers should be acknowledged and respected, not as “the second adult,” but as a parent whose involvement will greatly benefit the child. 

      One of the most important benefits of the involved father to the child is the behavior that is modeled when the child can observe a positive relationship between mother and father. Children learn so much more from parents as role models than they do from what the parents are saying on a daily basis. They are truly little “Mini-Me-s. When a boy sees his father showing respect to his mother, he learns from this modeling, how to treat women and a girl is gaining self-esteem and an expectation of how she should be treated by men. This “learning” will carry over into their adolescence and adulthood. They also benefit from observing how mother and father address conflicts within the mother-father relationship. Watching mother and father address conflicts in an adult and appropriate way teaches the same lesson, indirectly. Boys who understand that aggression and violence is not the way to solve conflict with women is less likely to grow up and act in an aggressive manner toward women. Girls who have involved fathers who solve conflict appropriately with their mothers see how they should expect men to treat them if conflicts arise. They are less likely to become involved in violent or unhealthy relationships when they become teenagers and adults. This will not be their comfort zone, nor will they have been given a message, when they were growing up that aggression should be expected. In contrast, research shows that fathers who display contempt, anger, violence, or give “the silent treatment” to the mother of their children are more likely to have children who are anxious, or anti-social. Tony Dungy, former NFL player and coach, talks about the father as a role model in his acclaimed book, “Uncommon.” He speaks to fathers, “Be the role model that God created you to be for others. Be the message the He intended for you to be, to all the world.” Certainly, words for all fathers to take to heart.

      Through the many studies done on the role of the father in the family, we have learned that children with involved, affectionate fathers have better educational outcomes. I stress that affection is needed from the father for both sons and daughters. Also, the influence of a father’s involvement on academic achievement extends into adolescence and young adulthood. U.S. Department of Education did a study that found highly involved biological fathers had children who were 43 % more likely than other children to earn A’s, and 33% were less likely to repeat a grade. 

      Children also benefit emotionally and psychologically from the presence of an involved father. From birth, children of involved fathers are more likely to be emotionally secure, confident to explore their environment, and create more healthy social relationships with peers, as they grow into adolescence and young adulthood. They are also, less likely to get into trouble at home, school, or in the community. Babies who get a lot of affection and playful interaction from their father feel more secure. A father’s playfulness with his children is more stimulating than the playful activity of the mother. Rough housing with Dad can teach children how to react to aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions. Fathers, more so, encourage independence and a lack of fear of the world outside the home. Fathers encourage achievement and competition, while mothers are more likely to stress nurturing, both of which are important. The balance between the two is needed. Yet another study of school-aged children found that children with involved fathers are less likely to experience depression, drug abuse, or display disruptive or delinquent behavior. Fathers hold an important role in benefiting a child’s growth, development, and future that cannot, likely, be filled by anyone else. We are not saying that there are no children without a father present who do not succeed; there are. However, they can give testament to the rough road they and their mothers traveled to get there. 

      The “resident” father in all homes does not fit the mold of the contemporary family, but the “involved” father can strengthen the modern day family and its future for the children. 


Research Sources:
http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/06/15/a-tale-of-two-fathers/
www.fatherhood.gov
Yeung, W. J., Duncan, G. J., & Hill, M. S. (2000). Putting fathers back in the picture: Parental activities and children's adult outcomes.
H. E. Peters, G. W. Peterson, S. K. Steinmetz, & R. D. Day (Eds.), Fatherhood: Research, interventions and policies (pp. 97-113). New York, NY: Hayworth Press; Harris, K. M., & Marmer, J. K. (1996).
Dungy, Tony, Uncommon: Finding Your Path to Significance, Tynsdale House Publishers, (Feb., 2009).

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Copyright, Parents Want to Know 101, Sharon Rose, The Father’s Role in the Contemporary Family: How Children Benefit From An Involved Father, June 10, 2013. All rights reserved.