By Sharon Rose
Tweens need their parents guidance as they transition into a different world of socialization. At this time in their lives, friendships are very important, as we see them pull away from their parents and look more towards their peers. Many tweens are in middle school, and may be changing schools and meeting new schoolmates at this time. Having to make new friends can make the middle school friendships, which can tend to be difficult, even more challenging. It’s an important part of their lives because the friends they make will often become life-long friends and supporters. It's important, as parents, that we help them recognize and value healthy friendships. If your tween is having any social problems you may need to, diplomatically, help them make friends and understand how to keep them. Share with your tween, personal stories of how you have kept a long time friend.
Parents can also follow these guidelines: 1. Talk about peer pressure and strategies to deal with it; 2. Do not emphasize popularity; Encourage your tween to choose supportive friends, not cool friends; 3. Encourage the value of cultural diversity, inclusivity, and the acceptance of others differences; 4. Encourage supportive and positive friendships; 5. Involve their friends in your family activities, such as family movie night; 6. Compliment their friends on their positive attributes, such as, “I noticed your friend, Jeremy, cheering loudly for you to make that touchdown.” 7. Involve your tween in extra-curricular activities that they will enjoy; 8. Teach them to show positive body language with friends, such as greeting friends with a smile; 9. Encourage one-on-one time with friends and discourage excessive texting and emailing; explain that close bonds tend to come with person-to-person interaction; 10. As the parent, it is most important, to be a good listener.
Parents should know who their tweens friends are, and who their tween is spending time with at school, on social media, and in other activities. Help them make the choice to move on if a friendship is not a healthy one. Also important, meet their friends’ parents. You may make new friends too! Your tween may be spending time in the homes and under the supervision of the friend’s parents. You may even partner on planning activities that your tweens will do together. Remember, a parent’s role is key as your tween grows into a teenager. If you are interested in more information and help on this topic, see our resource website below.
Resource with more guidelines:
Copyright, How to Help Your Tween Make Friends and Keep Them, Sharon Rose, Parents Want Know 101, July 17, 2019. All rights reserved.
