By Sharon Rose
What is your parenting style? More and more we are hearing terms applied to parenting styles. Trending in the media are stories on "helicopter parenting." A 'helicopter parent' is a parent who is so involved in their child's experiences and problems, that it limits their child's independent growth and development. 'Helicopter parents,' are overprotective and take an obsessive interest in their child's life. This term first showed up at educational institutions and was used regarding parents of high school and college students. However, more and more it is a term that is applied to parents who 'hover' over their children, of any age, just like a helicopter. Helicopter parents have to be careful of crashing.
You are viewed as a helicopter parent if you:
1. Always give in - Helicopter parents often harbor a huge amount of mommy-guilt, which often translates into a lack of rules or constantly giving in to child demands. If you're the one to buckle when your kid is begging for bubblegum, you're probably over-protective to the point of shielding your kid from any negative experience ever. Over-protective parents may crash. Bad form!
2. Offer your child the quick fix, instead of asking the right questions - A lot of the time when kids ask for help with their homework, they're really asking for assurance that they're doing the right thing. Instead of giving your child the answer, encourage him to check his work or show him how to look for the right answer in a book or online. This will take a little more time to set up, but you'll be showing your child independent skills in the long term.
3. You have not learned to, "Just say no!" - It may be hard to look your kids in the eye and say 'no,' but refusing to give into their every whim will help them in the long run. Instead of agreeing to give your child treats on a regular basis, try tempering their need for reward by having them work towards a long-term goal, such as a family camping trip or outing with friends.
4. You do not give options - Instead of making decisions for your child, help her assert independence by offering options. If you normally choose your child's outfits, try letting her choose between two different t-shirts. Small choices like this help kids feel confident and also helps them make big decisions long term.
5. You do not let him cry it out - Disappointment and negative emotions are just a part of life, so if your child doesn't get what he wants, don't fret. Especially, remember this with teens. By not giving in to demands on a regular basis, you'll help your child grow up to be less materialistic and more self satisfied.
6. Over-protective - Parents who are over-protective, to the point of shielding your kids from any negative or hurtful experience, ever, are helicopter parents. If your child goes out for the baseball team or cheerleading squad, does not make it, and you plead with the coach to "do something," so your child can participate, although you know your child really needs more experience, you may be over-protective. There are many examples of parents insulating their kids from feeling any of the painful experiences of real-life. As a result, when the kids grow-up and are living independent from their parents, they may crash. Over-protective parents and over-protected kids, may crash.
*You can read more on helicopter parenting at our "resources." Have a balance in your parenting style and avoid becoming the overprotective parent who 'hovers.' You will help your child grow up to be the healthy, independent adult he needs to be to succeed.
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Resources for more information on helicopter parenting:http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/what-is-helicopter-parenting/
Copyright: "Helicopter Parenting: Be Careful of Crashing," Sharon Rose, Parents Want To Know 101, June 8, 2017. All rights reserved.
