Friday, March 23, 2018

How Parents Can Approach Talking About African American History with Young African American Children

By Sharon Rose



      As an African American parent, in raising my three children, I had to ask myself this question.  How can parents approach talking with young African American children about African American History?  Many accounts of the human experiences in the rich history of African Americans in America, the pioneers, leaders, heroes, as well as, everyday people, are painful, tragic, inhumane. Yet there are other accounts that are uplifting, courageous, and inspirational, cloaked in poignant tales of the Middle Passage, slavery, The Underground Railroad, The Civil War, The Emancipation Proclamation, the Reconstruction Era, The Great Migration, and the Civil Rights Era of the '60's.  Have an age appropriate, honest talk, but find those stories during those historical times that celebrate strengths even during trying times.  Many parents have to get past their own fear of hurting their children to have an honest talk about African American history that is fraught with abuses, struggle, tragedy, adversity, and darkness.  But, as parents, it is our role to bring this rich history into the light, and help our children to develop the deserved self-pride in their ancestral history.  I want to share with you some suggestions that have worked well in our family.  In talking to your children about this rich history, it is important to open the conversation, especially, with our young children, with a phrase like, "I want to tell you a story about courage and a strong, resilient people."  Courage, strength to endure, pride, and faith in God is a good way to frame the conversation.  




      Become comfortable with the many questions that your children will, likely, ask throughout their childhood.  When you have your first talk with young children, start with more current times and work backwards.  Point out that African American historical figures set goals for themselves, had dreams, and worked hard to achieve them.  These are characteristics your child can relate to and will have meaning in their lives.  Ask them about the goals and dreams they have.  Help them to compare their goals and dreams to a favorite African American hero they have.  For our young children who are 3, 4, 5 years-old, start by introducing them to modern day leaders and heroes like the following: President Barack Obama, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Rosa Parks, John Lewis, Oprah Winfrey, Ruby Bridges, and Mae Jemison.  Include leaders and heroes from a longer time past, like: Harriet Tubman, Benjamin Banneker, Frederick Douglass, W.E.B. Du Bois, Booker T. Washington, Jackie Robinson, Bessie Coleman, and Dr. Charles Drew, to name a few.  You can continue to add to these lists.  Many of these historical figures will be introduced to them at school from grades pre-school and up, often during Black History Month.  During your talks, many parents are surprised to find out that their children see them, their parents, as their heroes.  

      Other conversations can revolve around comparisons of African American history with the history of other groups, throughout world history, that have experienced inhumane or unequal treatment due, for example, to their ethnicity or religion.  Older children, beginning at 9 years old, can be introduced to the book, The Diary of Anne Frank, as an example. Look for related poetry to introduce into the conversation.  Encourage your child to write a related poem of their own. This can be a way of allowing them to express feelings they are having about all they are learning.  It is important to highlight and emphasize the triumph over tragedy that African Americans have had throughout the history of America. As parents, we should take time to teach the rich African American history in our own homes so our children receive it in a way to raise their self-esteem and not damage it.  African American parents do have to be concerned that, if not handled in a sensitive way and with guidance, learning of their ancestors plight can be hurtful and raise many questions in a child's mind.  Why? Why? Why?  We have to be prepared to answer these questions so, if not already, we must educate ourselves, and will likely learn even more as we educate and talk with our children.  





      To further enhance your talks, introduce age appropriate books, games, apps, websites on African American History.  Seek out grandparents, family or friends to allow your children to experience related storytelling from someone who has lived through historical times like the Civil Rights Era of the '50's and '60's.  Some of your most important talks can include others who have their own memories of history to share.  Parents will find that much of the history we introduce to our children at home, in these ways, may not be found in their school experiences.  I always took great pride in sharing the amazing stories with my children, found in African American History.  I believe you will too!







Copyright, How Parents Can Talk About African American History With Young African American Children, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, March 22, 2018.  All rights reserved.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

How to Talk to Your Child About Social Bullying

By Sharon Rose



      Children need to know the facts about social bullying and how it can harm them and others. Many children endure social bullying because they want to fit in and not be rejected by a certain group. Some find it hard to make friends because of social bullying. So, start the conversation by asking about their friends, who they are and what they like to do together. 



 
      Let your child know that social bullying exist and it involves gossiping and spreading malicious rumors. Let them know that it includes negative body language, causing embarrassment, deliberately destroying and/or manipulating a relationship, whispering behind one’s back (with the intention of making them aware of this). Also, included are offensive jokes directed at another, passing offensive notes around about another, excluding someone from a group, offensive graffiti (with the use of profanity or inappropriate language), hate petitions (written promises to hate another). It's important that you have them understand that these 'mean' actions are a kind of bullying. 




      Social bullying can be isolating and devastating to Tweens and teens who want to fit in and be liked by their peers. The more you know about the multi-faceted, social bullying and accept that even age-old behaviors like gossiping, spreading rumors, and embarrassing others, is bullying, the more clear you will be in your talk. Let your child know that if he is experiencing anything like this at school, tell an adult, and tell you.  Let them know that the first step to finding a solution to this is to reach out for help. 







Copyright, How to Talk to Your Child About Social Bullying, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, March 21, 2018.  All rights reserved.