The Father’s Role in the Contemporary Family: The Changing Role of Caregiver for Children

By Sharon Rose 

      Many fathers are concerned that they won't know how to care for their newborn baby, or be gentle enough. Some men may think they should wait until the baby gets older and bigger before they start to handle them. However, fathers should start handling the baby as soon as the baby enters the world. Research shows that men have a hormonal response to becoming a father and nature takes over to guide them. That does not mean that fathers have no need to learn parental skills that will greatly enhance parenting. There is much to learn. What it does mean is, with time and practice, a father will become more confident in taking care of the baby. It will become natural for the father. The more time a father spends holding his baby the more skillful and comfortable at caring for the baby he will become. Every day a father spends involved, showing affection, and bonding with his baby, the stronger the paternal instincts will become. 

Tips on Bonding with Baby for Dads:

1. Give Baby a bottle.  If Mom is breastfeeding, Dad can give the water bottle.  As Baby takes the bottle he also learns to recognize your face.

2. Diaper duty can be shared with Mom, and will be a big help. Some Dads may need instructions and practice on how to change a diaper, but it will soon come easy. We all had to learn!

3. Wear your baby. Use a sling or pouch that fits in the front of you and carry Baby around as you do chores at home, etc.  Baby will be comforted by the feeling of being close to you. 

4. Massage Baby with lotion after a bath or soothe Baby when fussy.

5. Give Baby a bath. You’ll both enjoy this!

6. Sing a lullaby. Baby won't be critical of the tune you carry and will be soothed by a gentle, lulling voice.

7. Read a good book to Baby. At any age, Baby will like hearing the sound of your voice, even before they can understand the content of the story.

8. Take a walk with Baby in the stroller, when weather permits. Talk to your baby as you walk along and enjoy the exercise for yourself. 

9.  Make Daddy play-time a part of Baby’s daily schedule.  Keep it at about the same time each day, such as, when you first arrive home from work.  Make funny faces and watch Baby giggle, play peek-a-boo, act-out traditional children’s rhymes, such as Pat-A-Cake and Itsy-Bitsy Spider.  Baby will love this!

10.  Be a part of Baby’s health care needs.  Go to well-baby appointments.  Take a sick day (full or half) and stay home to take care of Baby when he is sick.     

     The changing roles of the caregiver for the children under age 15 in the family have caused many fathers to find their nurturing side and mothers to take on more of a disciplinarian, authoritative role. Parents supporting one another is needed and necessary. However, we must remember how important keeping the balance of the mother-father role is within the family. 

Research Source: http://money.cnn.com/2012/04/30/pf/stay-at-home-dad/index.htm

www.parentswanttoknow101.blogspot.com/bondingtimeforbabyanddad

Educational Resources for Dads: www.fatherhood.gov

www.fatherhood.org; www.parentswanttoknow101.blogspot.com.

www.facebook.com/parentswanttoknow101

Copyright, The Father’s Role in the Contemporary Family: The Changing Role of Caregiver for Children, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, June 11, 2013; updated, July 29, 2014; updated, April 1, 2019.  All rights reserved.

Bringing Your Newborn Baby Home

By Sharon Rose

      I've been there before and remember all too well what it's like. Preparing to bring your newborn baby home from the hospital starts before you deliver your little bundle of joy.  Here are 10 Tips for Bringing Your Newborn Baby Home:

1. Prepare a nursery for the baby or a sleeping area that is well ventilated, climate appropriate, and safe.

2. It is required by law to transport your baby by car in a car seat. Purchase the car seat in advance of delivery and read installation instructions so you or your partner is prepared to install it when you are ready to bring baby home.

3. Go out before your baby is born and purchase personal hygiene and any personal toiletry items you will need for yourself when you return home from delivery.  If you will breastfeed don't forget breastfeeding bra, pads to protect clothing (insert in bra) and ointment to keep breast nipples supple and avoid dry and cracking skin.

4. If you had a baby shower you may have plenty of cute little clothes and toys for baby, but do make sure you also have baby bottles with nipples, baby bottle and rubber nipple brushes to clean them, and a baby monitor. Take time before you deliver to get needed items in place to avoid you or your partner having to run out to the store in the first week of bringing baby home.  Get organized. Plus, it will give you, both, more time to rest and enjoy the baby.

5. Pack a bag for the hospital weeks before your contractions start or your water breaks. You will probably still be wearing maternity clothes after the birth so, pack a maternity outfit to wear home, or something loose fitting.  Pack something comfortable for the baby to wear home, and we will mention this again.  Here is a list of other things to take to the hospital with you in your bag: a picture ID (driver’s license), health insurance card, any needed hospital paperwork, your birth plan (outline of your preferences during labor and delivery), eyeglasses, bathrobe, gowns, slippers, socks, your favorite moisturizing lotion and body wash.  Include things that will make you feel relaxed and comfortable, even healthy snacks. 

6. Plan to dress baby in something comfortable to wear home from the hospital. Resist the temptation to dress baby up in a frilly dress or any other cumbersome clothes.  A comfortable onesie, hand mitts, and hat is what baby will need.  A pretty blanket can be the item to add to that to make baby look extra special on the trip home.  

7. Send all large items home, like flowers or gifts, the day before you are to depart for home, after your new baby has been born. The day baby goes home will be much more relaxed.

8. Before you leave the hospital ask for a phone number for the maternity ward. Connect with a nurse or get the name of one, and her work shift, that you can call back and ask questions of once you have returned home.  Also, connect with a lactation consultant/nurse, during your hospital stay, if you plan to breastfeed. This is a service most hospitals provide. Ask for a contact number for the lactation consultant, in case you have future questions or need assistance after you leave the hospital.  

9. Schedule baby's first appointment before you leave the hospital. You are usually asked to bring a newborn baby back for a well baby check-up 2 to 4 days after you give birth if you leave the hospital within 48 hours.

10. Have guidelines for visitors once baby gets home. Feel good about protecting baby. You may want to wait a week before allowing visitors other than helpers, such as grandparents.  Cousins, aunts, uncles, and friends will understand.  They may have found themselves in your situation before, in bringing a new baby home. Restrict anyone who appears to be sick, even if they say it's allergies, from visiting baby, until they are well again.  Coughing and sneezing in baby’s environment could cause baby to catch something that is contagious. Your baby is not well equipped to fight off contagious diseases. Make ‘no touching baby,’ a rule for anyone that does visit.  Encourage them to enjoy looking at baby and watching the first cute facial expressions.  Direct anyone touching the baby, baby's clothing, or bedding, while caring for the baby, to wash his or her hands. Make hand washing a frequent practice. 

      Giving baby a "calm" welcome home is so important. It sets the tone for a great beginning for a great life. 

      Whether your baby comes home from the hospital right away, arrives later, or joins the family through adoption, homecoming is a major event.

Copyright, Bringing Your Newborn Baby Home, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, March 21, 2019.  All rights reserved.

Importance of Breastfeeding for Mother and Baby

By Sharon Rose

   

      Mothers, I breastfed each of my 3 children, and to my surprise, I needed guidance in how to breastfeed successfully.  I learned that it is so beneficial to your baby and yourself, to be patient, understand the changes to your body, and find support, as your milk comes in.  Milk production starts while you are pregnant. Your body will start to produce a nutrient-rich, syrupy, pre-milk, Colostrum, while you are pregnant.  You will notice your breast starting to increase in size at the halfway point of your pregnancy, about 16 to 22 weeks.  This is due to the increased hormonal levels stimulating the production of Colostrum.  Your baby will need this yellow to whitish color  miracle milk, Colostrum, in its first few days of life.  Colostrum includes proteins, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins, minerals, and proteins (antibodies) that will fight disease-causing agents such as bacteria and viruses.  

      During pregnancy, you may or may not have some leaking of colostrum from your breast.  If you should, you can use nursing pads to tuck in your bra to protect your clothing, so keep some handy.  If you don’t have any leaking, don’t take this as an indication that you won’t be successful with breastfeeding.  

      Once your baby is born, if you are a first-time  mother, your breast milk will take 3 to 4 days, and possibly up to 7 days to come in.  As a first-time mother, my milk came in after 4 days.  If you have had a child before, it may take less time.  Be patient, because the time frame varies from one mother to another.  You will notice that your breasts will become more firm once your milk comes in.  I learned that breastfeeding is natural, but not easy, as I had expected it to be.  Your obstetrician may offer the support services of a Lactation Consultant during your prenatal visits.  If not, ask for information on working with a Lactation Consultant before your baby is born.  Most hospitals, after you give birth, provide this support service.  A Lactation Consultant is helpful in dispelling any myths, preparing you for what to expect, and how to have a happy, healthy breastfeeding experience, for you and your baby.  

      While breastfeeding, I also learned that continuing to take prenatal vitamins is best.  With a newborn, I was so busy caring for the baby, that I did miss a few meals.  It’s important to get the vitamins and minerals that you and the baby need, to build a healthy foundation for the baby, which is your breastfeeding goal.  Keep up your balanced diet and drink plenty of water and milk.  Breastfeeding gives baby a strong and healthy start, to welcome him to the world. 

Copyright, Importance of Breastfeeding for Mother and Baby, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, March 5, 2019.  All rights reserved.

What Are We Having: A Boy or a Girl?

By Sharon Rose       

      Expectant mothers, fathers, and the whole family, want to know, is it a boy or a girl?  Curiosity and excitement always surrounds the gender of the baby!  Your baby’s gender is set as soon as the sperm meets the egg.  It is, precisely, at conception, when a baby gets 23 chromosomes from each parent.  Some parents have their heart set on a boy, others, a girl.  In some cases a couple may differ on whether they want to know, or not, before the baby is born.  

       

      Medical science has tests that allows you to know, before the birth, what the gender of the baby is.  When parents know ahead of time they can prepare mentally, better select baby items, and get the nursery ready for their new bundle of joy.  Knowing in advance, allows time for any disappointment over the gender of the baby to have disappeared by the birth. 

      When can you find out if the baby is a boy or girl?  For parents who want to know, during your mid-pregnancy ultrasound,  which is most often done between 18 and 22 weeks, the technician can usually get a clear view of the baby’s genitals.  The ultrasound can also be used to determine the health, age, and position of the baby.  It is also possible to find out the gender of the baby from a genetic test like chorionic villus sampling (CVS) or amniocentesis.  However, the purpose of tests such as these is to determine whether a baby has a genetic disorder or a chromosomal abnormality, like Down syndrome.  According to the 2017 statistics on births done by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), the percentage of women having babies in their 40’s has risen, sharply.  We find women, in this high risk group for birth defects, opting to take these tests.  CVS is usually done between 10 and 13 weeks, and amniocentesis between 16 and 20 weeks.  If they want to, they can find out the gender of the baby at this time.  Women who are not at increased risk of genetic and chromosomal problems don't usually take CVS or amniocentesis, partly, because these tests are invasive and carry a small risk of miscarriage.  The ultrasound is usually the choice, for most women, who want to find out the gender of their baby.

      Throughout history, predicting the baby’s gender has been what expectant parents had fun with.  Some even basing their predictions on myths and old wives’ tales, like boy babies are carried high and girl babies are carried low.  I, for one, experienced just the opposite.  There was a time when preparing boys and girls for their future was so different.  That is not so today.  In the past, boys and girls were not reared with the same kind of future or career in mind.  Boys and girls did not participate in the same activities, and girls were not expected to break the glass ceiling.  Just today, I read the amazing  news of 21 year old Los Angeles native, Antoinette “Toni” Harris, the first woman in history who will attend college on a full football scholarship, to play at a skill position.  Harris has signed a letter of intent to play for Central Methodist University in Missouri.  Harris says, her ultimate goal is play for the NFL.  I’m sure Harris’ parents never imaged when their baby girl was born that she would become a football player.  Although, some struggles for gender equality still remain in our society and around the world, young ladies like Toni Harris are showing the world that the equality gap between men and women is closing.  

      The birth of a baby is a miracle and a blessing to behold!  Whether your baby is a boy or a girl, give them a variety of educational and learning opportunities that are not based on what gender they are.  For parents, the excitement and joy of having a baby, and watching them grow, can last a lifetime!

Resources: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr67/nvsr67_08-508.pdf

Toni Harris Makes History: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.si.com/college-football/2019/02/27/female-football-player-toni-harris-makes-history-college-scholarship-offer
Tutu/football photo: https://www.etsy.com/shop/PoufCouture?ref=l2-shopheader-name

Copyright, Sharon Rose, What Are We Having: A Boy or a Girl?; Parents Want to Know 101, February 27, 2019.  All rights reserved.

Pregnancy and Prenatal Care

By Sharon Rose 

      Prenatal care is so important because it will help keep you and your baby healthy. Pregnant women need a village that starts with the team of prenatal care providers.  With regular prenatal care women can reduce the risks of complications for themselves and their baby.  Let’s look at some key birth statistics to bring that into reality. 

Key Birth Statistics - 

Data for United States in 2017:

Number of births: 3,855,500

Birth rate: 11.8 per 1,000 population

Fertility rate: 60.3 births per 1,000 women aged 15-44 years

Percent born low birthweight: 6.56%

Infant mortality per 1,000 live births: 5.8%

Premature births (birth before 37 weeks of pregnancy) 9.9%

Birth defects - affects 1 in every 33 babies born each year in the U.S.

Age of mothers giving birth - Birth rates decreased for females in age groups 15–39, and increased for females aged 40–44, from 2016 to 2017.

      Considering the statistics, prenatal care is essential for the well being of mother and baby.  It is the best protection mothers can give themselves for a safe, healthy, and happy pregnancy and delivery.

      There are several criteria by which pregnancy wellness is based.  Each one is important.  They work together as partners would to ensure a healthy pregnancy, safe delivery, and a healthy baby.  The criteria are medical care, nutrition, exercise, and lifestyle.

 

      Medical care is imperative during pregnancy.  A doctor trained as an OB/GYN  (Obstetrician/Gynecologist) is the best qualified health professional to determine how wellness is progressing with a pregnant woman and her unborn child.  The OB/GYN is a doctor who specializes in healthcare for women in general, prenatal care, and delivery of the baby of a pregnant woman.  The OB/GYN should be established at a hospital and have access to medical technology that enables him or her to identify complications, provide any needed care, and in some cases reverse adverse conditions that may lead to birth defects.  It is important for the pregnant woman to follow the office visits schedule the doctor has planned.  Scheduled prenatal care office visits should start as soon as the woman knows she is pregnant.  The schedule I followed with my three pregnancies is still used today and is as follows:

1.  The first 6 months of pregnancy, office visits are once a month.

2.  During the 7^th and 8^th month of pregnancy, office visits are every 2 weeks.               

3.  During the 9^th and final month of pregnancy, office visits are once a week until delivery. 

      Nutrition is vital for the wellness of mother and her unborn baby.  The role of providing the pregnant woman with needed information on proper diet often falls to the OB/GYN.  However, in some cases, if there are health problems involved in the pregnancy a professional dietician may be assigned to the pregnant woman.  One of the first nutritional needs the pregnant woman is directed to add to her diet by the OB/GYN is the prenatal vitamin.  Today, this is, mostly, made available over-the-counter instead of as a prescription.  Prenatal vitamins do not, however, take the place of fresh healthy foods needed throughout the pregnancy, such as: green leafy vegetables, grains, fresh fruit, milk, and protein (meats, eggs).  Your doctor should be able to provide you with information on the three balanced meals needed daily.  In addition to your doctor’s information, you can also use the internet to research healthy diets for pregnant women.  An OB/GYN or dietician can also give you information on weight gain, foods to avoid, and harmful Listeria.  Listeria is bacteria that is found in soil and water that pregnant woman should be aware of.  Animals can be carriers, and fruits and vegetables can become contaminated by Listeria also.  Being a lover of the fruit, cantaloupe, I have never forgotten the summer of 2011, when there was a widespread outbreak of Listeria, monocytogenes food poisoning, which was the result of contaminated cantaloupes, across 28 U.S., states.  The final report given in 2012, listed 33 deaths and 147 total confirmed cases since the beginning of the first recorded case of Listeria on July 31, 2011.  Pregnant women are more susceptible to this than others and should ask their doctor for information on Listeria, a foodborne illness. 

      Exercise is helpful for the overall health of the pregnant woman.  It helps in keeping a healthy heart, in defense of stress, and in keeping weight gain under control.  Daily walking is one of the best exercises a pregnant woman can engage in.  In recent years, Kegel exercises, also called pelvic floor exercises, have become popular among pregnant women.  Kegel exercises strengthen the muscles that support the uterus, bladder, bowels, and vaginal wall.  These exercises have been said to help ease a woman’s delivery.  I do caution any woman who is pregnant to discuss your exercise program with your doctor before starting it. 

      Finally, a most important concern is Lifestyle.  The pregnant woman’s lifestyle can affect her wellness, as well as, that of her unborn child.  Research has shown that any use of alcohol, cigarettes, or the abuse of any drugs, whether it be, so called, “street drugs,” or prescription drugs, can cause birth defects and complications that can put the life of the pregnant woman and unborn child in jeopardy.  There is no safe amount of these substances that a pregnant woman can take.  When you are pregnant it is a good idea to become a label-reader to ensure you do not consume alcohol unknowingly, as some foods, that you are not aware of, may contain alcohol.  A pregnant woman must always remember, whatever she takes in, her baby takes in.  Although, there may be periods of not feeling well, a pregnant woman should continue to work, follow her usual routine, keep in contact with family and friends, and have a healthy socialization regimen.  

      The lifestyle of expectant parents should include Lamaze, birthing classes, in their plans to prepare for the birth of their baby.  Lamaze classes teach controlled breathing exercises for the labor process and how parents can work together to bring their baby into the world. Your confidence will be lifted and many fears of just what will happen will be very much alleviated.  Classes are scheduled for the third trimester, about the seventh month of pregnancy and last about 6 weeks.  The good thing is, the cost of Lamaze classes are covered by most health insurances. 

      Parents should continue a vibrant social and career lifestyle.  Keep in touch with family and friends, keep working outside the home, as long as you feel well enough and the environment is safe for you and the baby.  

      All of these criteria are standard for the wellness of a pregnant woman and her unborn child.  Caring for and loving a baby starts with prenatal care.  Smile!  You have a baby on the way! 

Research Sources: 

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/births.htm

www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/spanish/prenatalcare.html

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_United_States_listeriosis_outbreak

Reading Sources: 

Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, by Mayo Clinic, May, 2011.

Everything You Need to Know About Prenatal Care and Having a Healthy Pregnancy, by U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, Baltimore, MD and S. Smith, October 31, 2008.

Learning Before Birth: Every Child Deserves Giftedness, by Brent Logan, December 3, 2003.

Online Reading Sources:

A New Life and Prenatal Care, article, by Sharon Rose https://parentswanttoknow101.blogspot.com/2011/12/new-life-and-prenatal-care.html?m=1

www.childbirthconnection.org
Copyright, Pregnancy and Prenatal Care, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, February 26, 2019.  All rights reserved.

How to Talk to Your Child

By Sharon Rose 

       It’s important to start early in your child’s life having age appropriate talks during a relaxed time to build trust and a bond. Don't wait until there is a problem to talk to your child. Start with positive language and listening. How your child 'feels' about daily experiences, traumatic events, his environment, including how you and others communicate with him, will be reflected in his behavior.  Be prepared to talk to your child in a way to bring greater understanding to any situation and soothe fears away. 

      If your child questions your authority, has a temper tantrum, starts a fight with a sibling, or is whiny and fretful all day, don't react by yelling or becoming snappy and fussy. You will have missed a teaching moment. Remain calm and find those positive words that are needed.  Avoid negative language like, “no,” and “don’t.”  Use statements that express what you expect.  For example: “Only walk inside.”  Instead of, “Don’t walk inside.”  Eliminate language that makes-fun-of or is name-calling.  For example, eliminate phrases like, “You’re such a big baby;” or “You’re a bad child.” This will take practice and will lead to good communication with your child. Start talking to your child, today! 

Copyright, How to Talk to Your Child, Sharon Rose, Parents Want to Know 101, February 20, 2019.  All rights reserved.